Dateless in San Diego.

I dont get it. I'm a 27 year old, attractive, professional, condo-owning, fun, outgoing, intelligent, ambitious, chill, female who can't a date for the life of me or so it seems. In the past two weeks i've met 3 or 4 guys all of whom i've spent great nights with at a bar or wherever else, chillin, having a few drinks, bonding, conversating...all of whom could make a a great future date, kiss and all, they all have given me the infamous "i'll call you" line and never call. Why? I wish someone could nswer this for me other than that "He's Just Not That Into You" blockbuster hit.

If he wasn't that into me, why would he have devoted an entire night to me? Was I suppose to be a muse and hop into bed with him, round one? That's not my style.

I don't know where i'm going with this, other then men seriously fucking suck. It's Saturday night and while I had options, I opted to go home, I was out and about with a co-worker and my options consisted of meeting gay best friend Kevie downtown at Bitter End. I attempted to drive down there and told myself if I scored parking I would go. Got downtown and parking was horrible, wome dressed in slutty Forever 21 class-less outfits and way too many drunks from the Padres game wandering around. So then I attempted to call the HOT (Scorpio) man who I met last week in South Park to see if he wanted to meet up. I shouldn't have called I know, I know. But fuck it. What is soooooooo wrong with casually calling some guy who is cool (and was an amazing kisser) to see if he wants to meet up for a drink? It's not marriage for Gods Sake, it's a cocktail and conversation.

Well, decided to go home and my other gay good friend from work wanted me to come play in Hillcrest. I would have been down to mingle with men, who are actually fun and cool and on my side, but I knew the night wouldn't be ending in an hour. And well, I guess you know you are getting older when it's 11:15 pm on a Saturday night and all you really want to do is go home and chill. Or chill with a man and a movie, but at this rate that feels like it's never going to happen.

I don't get it. I'm a great catch. If I do say so myself, and in this city it is beginning to feel impossible to get a date. Men were much more forward in LA. I liked it. I go back and forth between realizing a guy isn't going to call and a week and half after the fact saying fuck it, and calling him...like tonight. Who's to make up the dating rules anymore? So sick of that.

Men are confusing. Why do you spend time and energy pursuing a female for a night, and then nothing after? Why do you follow-up with a text the next day and then say you are going to call and never call? A part of me feels like it's all part of this major ego trip.

What am I doing wrong? Nothing. You men suck, most of you. You're missing out.

At least in the meantime, I had option tonight - with two of my favorite (gay) men, who love me for who I am and think i'm fabulous.

Sincerely Yours,
Carrie Bradshaw.

or so it seems.

Bday.

This year's gonna be great.
It's all about manifesting the positive and believing in answered prayer.

Cheer's to a lovely bday.
But you know you're getting older when
Bday's seem hard to plan
The circle of people you want to celebrate with
Dissapear in their own adventures
It is what it is, but all the same I have learned alot looking back
And parts of life can be wack

People are flaky...wait let me say it again
FLAKY. I've learned that is one thing I can't tolerate well.
You learn who your true friends are
So sick of excuses from people and life in general
Texts over-rule a cordial call
People are self-consumed
It's healthy to not sweat things
and not let people get under your skin
Men, pretty much suck
Although, I'm still hopig to find my diamond in the rough

26 was a year of learning
A year of growing
into me a little more
finding my depth
realizing that i'm a pretty relaxed person
and have confidence in myself
A year of transition

27 will be a year of positive happenings
a year of growing with God, while still
somehow balancing out life
A year of good health
A year of good travels
A year of smiles not crys
Laughter not anger
Love not like
Success not dreams
27 will be a year of fun without games
I think i'm ready to take it on.
It's hit me, this year - feeling older.
I finally feel like an "adult"
Bring it on 27.
I'm ready.

Peace.
Happy Birthday to Me.