Ugh. Timing.

Happy Memorial Day 2009. Today was interesting. I slept in, went for a run, which is a new found hobby of mine, then went to the beach with a friend and while we wanted to stay there all day after stumbling across the new and beloved Pale Ale House, I had to a go to a "business meeting" and she had to go play tennis.

Long story short, I ditch my day to go on a business meeting with a dude I must have given my card out too about 3 months ago. We sat there at sushi, and as time slowly passed the sushi never came. I thought the meeting was going to be about how he wanted me to help him promote these new club nights he's taking on with this company that promotes Ferrari and what not, and while I do believe that was a part of it, the whole thing kind of became awkward as he started to be interested in my "deal" a little bit more, and was totally distracted from the "business" aspect of it. Non the less, to cover my own ass, I got his info and will be sure to check in on his ass with my music industry fam.

So then I should have went to my car, but I just wanted a hot tottie or something warm and delicious, and was sort of pissed that I drove downtown, ohh by the way, not even to have sushi since the service was horrible, and just wnated a drink by that point. So I ended up casually walking into the Westin downtown, and while the bartender said there wasn't any hot water or coffee, he talked me into a lovely malbec. Which, 4 glasses later, was delicious.

Here it is 6 hours later, and I somehow had an amazing night, with a man, the bartender from the Westin, whom which I hope I will see again. And don't want to label it as "I Will never see again."

We sat there at the bar, casually talking when I realized that underneath that beard, he was very sexy, and I was soon eager to learn more. We were talking, semi-bonding, and for a second I thought to myself, I bet he has a girlfriend. Somehow 3 glasses of Malbec later, and one way to long convo with a military brat and smarty pants from Michigan, I found myself asking the bartender what he was up too. He was going to meet a friend, and then I offered to buy him a drink.

So we went to the Yard House and he bought me some chicken wings because I realized I had never eaten and he started to shoot the shit over a glass of Jamison on the rocks, about his girlfriend who he lives with who he wants to break up with, because she freaks out when he goes out, and apparently broke his cell phone last night. He is 29. He's not young. BUT, I new instead of being a flirt, I had to try with all my might to be the cool girl that he can shoot the shit with, and I couldn't help to feel EXACTLY like the bartender from The Hills most recent episode, when Heidi doesn't trust Spencer, and the cool bartender at the Dime ...was in tonight's instance me. I tried to tell him, that a healthy relationship shouldn't be like that, i felt like a huge devil's advocate, but at the same time I had some cocktails in me, and wanted him badly, and I could tell if he was single, he would have well wanted the same. So somehow it came out of me "I probably have my shit together 10 times more than you're girlfriend, and I can probably rock your world 10 times more than she can too." Whoops.

I didn't mean to say it but it's true. Here I sat. slowly starting to think about how my 3 hours of free validation at Horton Plaza slowly started to turn into 50 bucks of parking, but somehow I was living the moment and it was worth it. We had too much in common he lives in PB, where I am soon moving and he is an SD native. His good friend soon drove from the beach to meet him for a drink. We all bonded, and soon after they were off to PB to go have a guys night.

Okay, all in all, I think a lot more bonding and "cool" moments happened, than just explained, but long story short. I went into a hotel for a glass of wine, found myself at a bat 4 hours later with the amazing bartender, and his friend at Yard House, wanting to give him my number but his girlfriend had broken his phone the night before, so I took his number. His friend invited me to a mansion party on the 4th of July. I didn't have to pay for parking, because this Bobby of a bartender went to his car to give me his 5 days left of a parking permit in Horton Plaza. We hugged a hug, that should have been a kiss, and called it a night.

Tonight was awesome. I sincerely hope that I see both Bobby and his friend again. I hope that he realizes there are amazing women in the world he needs to get to know, like me. Because timing is a bitch. It's the story of my life. And i'd be lieing if I were to say, I don't want to see him again.

This was a soul - mate, call me crazy, or call me smart.

Memorial Day Weekend. Once Again.

It's funny how time flys. It truly does. I was jogging around Mission Bay earlier today, taking in the smell of delicious BBQ on the grills and jet skies around the bay, just thinking of how truly blessed I feel to be living in San Diego once again, a city that so many people flock too. I feel blessed. Which brought me to my next thought: It's funny how so much can change in a year. This time last year, I just moved into a studio apartment in Hollywood, CA. I was sick of my job, and so ready for a new change, I was barely making rent and living pay check to pay check, I had a man, who I thought was a potential "soul mate," and I felt content with life, relying on the fact of many substances worth of cocktails to make me feel that way, and the cloud nine feeling that comes along with lust and love. My world felt content.

Exactly one year later. I'm now living again in San Diego. I am a condo owner in Pacific Beach, CA...not exactly sure when or how that happened, i'm still single, but...I have a job that i'm totally happy with and even though the pay is kind of crappy, it's completely full-filling. I will soon be living 8 blocks from the beach, I have a good amount of friends in SD, but I still long to fit in with a "group" of friends, rather than people here and people there. I guess that comes with time. I still long to find more full-filling people in my life, who have depth to them and are just down to earth and real. I'm want to find love, but I guess a summer fling or two won't hurt, I'm slowly loosing touch with my LA life - that felt so complete at once, and the people I surrounded myself up there. I'm Christian, and found God 6 months ago. Althought I still enjoy a cocktail, and probably some good s-x too. I've dug a little deeper this year. I'm all for manifesting and reading about the Law of Attraction. I'm excited to take part in a "San Diego" summer once again, and do thinks like play Volleyball, Jet ski, meet cute men, and ride my bike. I'm getting fit, and am convinced I will be able to look good in a two piece this year, because I think i'm not a fan of wearing one, if you don't have the body for one. I will soon be broke again. Sometimes I feel totally content, other times I feel like I still need to find my place. It's beautiful outside. My mom has cancer.

So cheers, to the kick-off a great summer. I can't wait to host a 4th of July party. I will find new friends down here, and a man, and become closer with my family, and have time for a vacation, and pimp out my condo, and become closer to God, and live a positive life.

Funny, how times flys. Off to a BBQ.

Wishful thinking.

I was walking through the UCSD campus today, and saw signs all over for something I never experienced in life. And it brought me to thinking about regret. There are people that tend to hold onto regret, and people who would rather forget. I am a for- getter. But, I was motivated today to think about regret. There are two things in life I regret.

1. Not spending more time with my grandma before she passed away, knowing that she was just down the street at an old folks home. I'm sure there were stories beyond stories, I could have listened too. I'm sure my simply daily pleasures would have brought a smile to her face, on the days where she was left alone, in a room filled with like being, who couldn't remember the two hours prior.
2. Not every studying abroad in college, or taking time off after to go explore the world.
It's not too late, but it's also not reality right now. Although i often, often, think about how I would like that to be my reality, just for a year.
The road less traveled intrigues me. It's funny, because at first glance it's not what I seem, not how I think i'm perceived. But, it's much of my soul.

Something about the unique, the souls that aren't the norm, attracts me much. Dare I admit. Especially with men, and the circle of friends I am trying to re-create.

Cheers.