I wonder.

If you think about me.

It's weird.

I miss you.

I'm sure your mind is a like, where when it's running it's running and the day goes by. But I wonder, in those solitary moments of the day, if I run across your head.

Why do I feel so connected?

I wonder if and when you feel connected to someone in life, man, woman, friend, whomever, do they feel the same way about you? Do the think about you from time to time and wonder when the next time will be yet never say anything because life just sometimes goes by and the minutes turn into hours and the hours turn into days? Particularly men.

Is it so horrible to admit a connection?

I kind of miss you.

my head feels cloggy.

you'd make it clear.

Dazed and Confused, but not really.

Some days we wake up with a clear head, sure of the future, the past and the present.
Ever-clear and sun-kissed days with excitement, love, hope, energy flowing well.

Other days we're a lost soul.
A kid at heart, and only child.
Wanting to love, the love we never had.

Some days we're a sure fire sign of spit fire and adrenaline
And then we wake up, alone, frightened, feeling lost from the night before.
The long nights, the short days.

Not the lifestyle we want anymore, trying to hard to find balance, and balance it out.

Guilty is no pleasure,
but pleasure is sometimes ohh so pleasurable.

...Life is strange. Some days I feel like I grasp it well other days I feel lost and confused, not sure which way to turn. Spiritually trying to figure it all out, and missing my spiritual family.
I want to find it all, happiness, truth, love, I know where it lies. Why is it so difficult to commit?

"We all got wooden nails"...

I don't want to be middle of the line.

Hope. pray. love. manifest.

Souls.

People are definitely soul connected in this world.

I totally believe that you meet people in this world, whether it be randomly or through friends, or by accident for a reason.

It's the type of connection, where you can read what someone's vibe is and feel what they are feeling. Where you can think about them, and look at your phone and there's a text message. Where you feel all warm inside thinking about seeing them again. This intensity might heighten with men. Where you know down the line, that there won't ever be any negativity between because the soul will be connected.

And sometimes I wonder, why did we meet?

Soul connected for sure -- we are few far and between in this world. And even if it doesn't click on a level we may fancy. We are one. For sure.

One Love.

Frustrated. Confused. I want.

Frustrated, that night after night I come home from a long day's work to an empty home.
Some day's happier than others.
Other days depressing and overwhelming.
Balance is key to life, yet I have no love.

Single and sick of it.
He was right, I do want a relationship in the near future and sometimes I do question how I will balance it all out, but with the right person balance will become indescribably natural.

This past weekend, I had a sexy, intriguing, intelligent, soul connected, London man come down and visit me. For a few days, I felt that exciting feeling again. That feeling of connection, of warmth and your tummy telling you that someone likes you, and you like them back. I was nervous and excited. The weekend happened, and it was good, I had some tensions built up from my busy schedule, but for the most part I played it breezy. This man and I click on a level that feels natural off the bat. I was excited to come home to him. I want him. Until he ruined my flow with the questions. The over-bearing questions of love, lust, marriage and relationship.

Does he remember what he asked? Does he remember my answers? I only know the guy shy of three weeks, and it felt so intense. It felt like it went from excitement and anticipation and wonder to a realization, probably one that was for the best. I'm saddened. I'm not going to lie, I do want a relationship sometime soon and I want that to lead to marriage and a family and the whole nine yards. But why did he come down then? Was nothing of that genuine? My gut doesn't tell me so.

Frustrated. Back to feeling single. Maybe I shouldn't let up, but he can reach out. Because I'm a little confused of what all that was.

It sucks coming home to an empty house. It's the holidays. Here I sit again. I want to see him again, I want the butterfly feeling to turn into reality. I want to show him I can be that girl he never knew existed.

Lord, help me. Bring it together for me, just this once. please.

It's not fair.

Love sucks.
Men suck.

Confused.