My plan of maybe action.

I woke up today, with a realization. Much of my realization lately has been prompted from reading the great little book of knowledge entitled "The Secret," which is really keeping me on a positive - manifest what you want in life, track. And this morning, I woke up with a plan of action that I'm going to most likely make happen for myself, unless a) i get some amazing high paying job offer i just can't resist in LA or b) i find the love of my life in LA ...come next May. Both options, would be well worth staying in this city a little longer for. Mind you, I love LA at times...okay well love is a strong word; "dig" LA at times...many a times...but at other times severely hate it. So as I was reading "The Secret" last night before bed, I was greatly intrigued by the message of the night in the visualization chapter. And it went something like this...

"Think about what you want. Believe in it. Visualize it. As in really visualize every ounce of it and it's details. Then ponder that for awhile. Smile. And think about what you are grateful for now. Except your gratitude. And then slowly everything you want and believe and visualize will come to you."

I know some make think the whole book and it's concepts are complete bullshit - but I don't. So on that note, my realization this morning of thinking of what I want, has to do with my plan of action. That unless points a) or b) above happen before next May...I will then move to San Diego for a couple of months, get a job of whatever sort to save money for a couple months, and then move to San Francisco. Or possibly cut out San Diego option all together, and just go straight to San Francisco (and possibly UC Berk for grad, but that's just something else i've been secretly looking into...but the GMAT, CBEST AND CSET tests scare me)! Seriously, I would love to drop everything and go back to school but the thought of taking another standardized tests frightens me pretty much enough to ignore the idea of grad. I'm horrible at them.

All in all, I will make this happen. I'm due for a change unless a) or b) happen. And I probably sound like I am contradicting myself since I am suppose to manifest! and make a) and b) happen, but deep down that's not really what I want mainly because i'm sick of this city. My gut is slowly aching for a change. I'm not stressing, because I have faith that if I use the tools of this book, everything will fall into place for me one way or another. Moving to San Francisco and getting some amazing job opp up there and having everything else in my life fall into place just perfectly is what I want, what I see in the future for myself, and what is going to happen. And deep down, it's actually what i've been wanting since about my junior year of college.

I know i'm being quite blunt and honest with these bloggings, and I have no clue who may read them. But hey it's my life, i'm 26 and going to live it how I want. I'm just not one of those types to stay in one city my whole life. Life's too short not to go out and explore. La Jolla, California will always be there waiting for me when i'm 52 and ready to retire to my beach house.

p.s. yes, I realize much of my blog lately has been devoted to the theme of life and pondering it. It's a phase, I'll get over it. I like to call it the quarter - life crisis.