It's 2009 already?

It's been awhile since i've updated, and I apologize for any one who is a major fan, but life has been a bit of a whirlwind lately, and somehow here we are in the entrance of 2009. Where have the last 9 years gone?

So update on me. No longer living in LA. Back in San Diego full time for the first time in almost 10 years. Somehow ironically end up spending most of my time at a place 9 years ago, I couldn't wait to depart from: UCSD campus. Still single, and have pretty much stopped "looking" for love, hoping like all those optimistic happy in love woman say "it will come to me when I stop looking." Although I have to admit that thought doesn't help the lonely nights. I'm pretty much convinced that while San Diego is by far probably the most esthetically pleasing city, and I feel blessed to work in La Jolla, California, a place where people only dream they could live because it really is that picture perfect...the fact that it's trying to become or better yet has emerged into a wanna be hipster town with "East Village" now a apart of downtown, and the once sketchy North Park is now the Silverlake of it all, has totally made me a little stand-offish.

I don't really know anyone here anymore. Okay that's a lie. I know a ton of people, but have totally lost touch with so many people, and have truly realized that when you haven't seen people in 10 years, they totally change. Some for the best, others for the worst, and others - will always hold a special place in my heart.

I somehow live at home again, which is funny because when I meet people and they ask me what part of SD I live in, I really want to say Little Italy, but i've realized that would be a lie. I am back in La Mesa with my mom. My goal is to have my own place by May. But this is giving me a great opportunity to save a nice amount of cash flow each month, so much so that I somehow am still broke for the time being, because that extra money in my checking account tends to go to eating out and clothes. But hey, I figure I should enjoy it awhile. So trying to take advantage of living at home again, and honestly if i were smart I should live here for a year or more so I could make a down payment on a condo or house! But instead for the time being, I live in a small cottage type house with my mom, and an exchange student from Turkey. The only space I have is a small bedroom, and at times I really just want to kick them both out of the house so I can have some space! BUT, I have to remember the real reason I was prompted to move down here in the first place.

My mom has cancer. I found out on October 25th, 2008 - hence the stall in writing. I have been writing just not for the public yet. Yes she has advanced breast cancer that has spread to the bone, and while I can talk about it with strength, the way i deal with it is to just keep praying and don't dwell on it. So now you know, she is doing well, I tend to forget at times she has it, and when I think of it, I want to cry the night away. But I am doing well, she is doing well, God has saved me from all this.

As in yes that's right I recently was Saved at The Rock Church and for anyone who does not believe in a higher power, well, I pray for you. Because the way God works is amazing. I saw it come through on my own life, in a time where I needed it. I was lost, confused, feeling out of place with LA and the people there, and even some of my own friends, and BAM one day my plan had changed, I entered a new chapter, and have been blessed this far. Step by step.

It's all sort of ironic, because I was in Vegas with a couple of my best friends having a blast, and then literally in the airport I had this weird gut feeling that I hadn't heard from my mom. A n intuition. Then the same night I flew back to LA, I found myself driving to the hospital in SD to find out the news. In a way, I think it was a wake up call. I had been living this life of having a good time and feeling so disconnected, that while life still is far from my ideal situation, things have progressed a lot.

At this point, I really like my job. I'm Marketing Manager at La Jolla Playhouse, and a lot of people keep asking me why the hell I left the music industry and I can say is this. I absolutely adored the people I worked with, and miss them a ton, and will NEVER have as cool as a boss(es) as I did. BUT after 4 years, I out grew the job and was sick of the day to day bullshit and more so, just not feeling full filled at the end of the day. I realized that while I love me some Tpain, I didn't give a shit as to how many spins he got in Madison, WI.

So now I get to do what I have wanted to do for the past couple of years. Write and implement full fledged marketing campaigns for Broadway shows. Schmooze with advertising reps to do all the media buying, be creative, write, and work with cool people who all adore what they do. And if you aren't familiar with the venue think RENT and Jersey Boys - we are home and founders to them, to name a few.

Umm so okay, where am I going with this? ha. Well all in all, i'll leave you with this. It feels nice to be back in SD, loving the job, but miss LA and my people and the music industry and honestly the ambition of the city, will probably be back one day unless I meet some amazing man down here, depressed of being single, trying to let men from the past run through my head anymore, trying to focus on writing and being healthy and me.Manifest that things will be content for me down the line. Things will fall into place for me down here as I take on this new chapter.

I pray for my mom. I hope to become closer with my family. I hope to feel content and full filled in life on all levels. I hope to meet new amazing people. I hope to become closer to God. I hope to pay of my debt and get a new car. I hope to loose 7 pounds. I hope to meet awesome men who call when they say they will call.And one more thing...I really hope to be in a show once again! I have totally been inspired recently.

Talk soon.