Just for a few days....
I'd like to be one of those people who sit in Starbucks with their laptops at 12:30pm on a Monday or Tuesday...or Wednesday and so on. This last Monday I didn't have work as it was 'Columbus Day,' and while I swear that was a Holiday which was only observed in Elementary school, somehow my company still supports it...so Thank You Columbus for sailing the blue! It's basically a non official holiday, and even though I had the day off it felt like I was really playing hookie or something on a Monday. Businesses were operating as per usual, where as on other Monday Holidays i.e. Labor Day everything seems to be closed. So as I walked into Starbucks (yes, yes I am actually investing stock into it!), to grab a Chai Latte with soymilk before tracking to La Mirade? To meet my Dad for some lunch, I couldn't help but stop and take a second to feel a little jealous of the "laptop, sit at Starbucks for hours and act busy, generation." In college I would attempt to get my studying done at coffee houses but it never worked for me; too much distraction. But these people I swear - none of them were college aged students. They were part of the " I work from home (or really Starbucks) on my Mac computer " niche of people ...particularly in Los Angeles i'm sure...but I wanted to be one of them!
Just for a month or two I want to be one of those Starbucks junkies who has time to sleep in, go for a jog, then grab my morning paper, and pretend to do some work on my laptop while I sit for hours at Starbucks people watching in brainstorming, thinking about life, type of people.
Anyways that is all. I haven't been inspired to write anything to fantastic lately. I've been busy working some type of job 7 days a week, and on top of it i'm sick! Thank God my Vegas vacation is just around the corner, although I don't know how relaxing Vegas will be, but i'm excited to have a good time. Not to excited to drop hard earned money on stupid shit, but still ...what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Things that make you go "hmm."
I had a busy but fun weekend this past weekend, and of course tapped into the excitement of my favorite holiday - HALLOWEEN!! Just a few weeks away! Friday night was the kick-off by going to Universals Studio's Halloween Horror Nights, and I have to admit while it wasn't as "scary" as I thought it was going to be, it was a lot of fun. Definitely glad I only paid $35 to get in though, it's not worth more then that in my opinion. But ...on to things this weekend and morning of a Monday that really caught my attention, made me a little upset, and all in all just made me go "hmmmmm."
1) Bringing children into a bar.
Now I know that in LA there are a lot of bars that are technically "restaurants" like Cabo Cantina for example, or really any place that has the word "Cantina" at the end now that I think about it. But I seriously had a HUGE fucking problem with being at a bar for happy hour with my friends, enjoying another afternoon Sunday Funday and suddenly seeing a young mom bring her 6month old baby (or younger), in a handheld carriage to the bar. She came upstairs to meet her semi drunk and cigarette friendly group of friends, and sat her baby down smack in the middle of the table and continued to socialize and have a good time. I don't even think she was a young mom who didn't know better. She looked to be in her early 30's. About an hour later, she took off (thank god!), because even the waitress came up to me and said "are you okay" and I replied "yeah i'm fine, just heated that the lady over there had the nerve to bring her baby into a place like this and a little more upset that you guys allow it." wtf! Cabo Cantina is a drunken fun bar in my opinion, not a place to bring kids. Earlier in the day another young girl was forced to sit down and eat with her parents as they chugged beer at watched Football. Around 7pm that night a single dad in his mid 30's walked in with two young daughters probably around 5 and 7 years old. The little girls looked lost and confused as Daddy tried to grab a margarita and catch the remainder of the game.
BUT, to top it all off, around 8pm that night as we were closing up our happy hour tab and clearly everyone at the bar was loud, drunk, and smoking something or another; a Dad...in his late 30's I would guess, came upstairs with his 2 year old daughter to meet a lady friend of his. They sat there three feet in front of me with cigarette smoke everywhere and proceeded to mingle. I couldn't help but think that little girl should be at home in bed! Where is her Mother? I bet her Mom would have flipped had she known Daddy brought her to a bar on his weekend with her. Are people crazy?? What prompts any type of parent to bring their kids any age from infant - 12years old to a bar? Talk about sobering up, the guy is lucky I didn't go up and say anything to him for his horrible parenting skills.
2). Johnny Depp is going to be getting paid 65 million for his role in the new Pirates of the Carribean movie.
I heard it on KIIS Fm this morning and almost flipped. It tops the highest paying acting role of Tom Hanks in the Da Vinci Code, where he got 60 million. BUT, with the economy the way that it is these days, middle class families and even myself! Having to work more than one or two jobs to make ends meet, starving kids in the world etc...you know where i'm going...I have a HUGE problem with film makers paying already rich ass actors this much money when our nation is in a state of growing financial hardship. I seriously don't understand it. And I also don't understand how successful rich people can continue to negotiate and accept this much money knowing the current problems we face.
3) Re-doing the street in front of my office on Colorado Ave and also on Santa Monica Blvd in Beverly Hills, so that they can look "prettier."
Again this is a case of spending my freaking tax dollars and making the streets look prettier by landscaping them with new flowers, rocks, gardens etc. Not only is the construction work taking months to complete and making my commute miserable, I can't help to look at these areas EVERYDAY and think to myself that they already look fine and dandy. Yet someone the Mayor - whoever, has decided to spend dollars on making these two areas look better, with new landscape. WTF? Have you been to Compton or the downtown areas that really could use a little bit of "cleaning up?" and yet Beverly Hills and Santa Monica are getting a make-over? Not cool.
4). Men...again.
Okay Okay...i'll make a long story short and also blunt. A week ago I was out with some friends and caught eyes with this cute, tall guy, (okay maybe I had a little bit of drunk goggles syndrome), but we totally hit it off and ended up wondering off on a walk down Sunset, and having some fun. Good convo, I felt instantly comfortable with him, which is HUGE! to me. I think chemistry is all about that instant comfort zone. Anyways, so we leave the bar at 2 am and he pays for a cab to take me to my friends across town to get some Mexican food. We meet my friends and as my buzz wore off, my friends and I went one way and he went the other. I woke up the next morning bummed I didn't give him my number, because I thought to myself that I actually met a cool, sexy, fun, chill, intelligent guy who claimed to have a lot of the qualities I look for. So I was bummed I was never going to hear from him again. Well I guess I had a little too much to drink because this past Friday night as I walk in my door after my night at Universal I get this random text from a 732 area code, and it was him. I guess I did give him mu number! I have to admit I was kind of excited to hear from him, but totally thought it was lame he had my number this whole time and didn't call me! So I woke up the next morning and decided to text him back. Only because I was interested in him from the first time we met. (Note to anyone reading this - I hate when guys start things off with texts, but the reality is that's just how things are these days. Even though I still search for the few who are far and beyond).
I texted him the next morning saying "Hi how are you, I was out late last night blah blah." Now in my head, I thought that would give him the opportunity to write me back something nice instead of a 1am drunk text. But he didn't hit me back the whole day and at 2am that Saturday night/Sunday morning hit me back again. Okay - WTF. I'm not naive to your 2am texts, but if that's going to be the case - that shit is going to be on my terms. So again I was let down, this guy who I thought was classier than what he obviously is, hit me with the 2am texts. Umm hello, I don't even know you, but thought you were cool as shit, and p.s. if I want some you're not going to be the first person I call!
So yesterday around 2pm I decided to mess with him, after again waking up to his drunk text. I wrote him and said " Why don't you give me a call instead of those 130am texts ;)" And he writes back "Why don't you keep your ideas to yourself, unless you want to get spa_nked;)" OMG!! Now if i was into a guy or dating him, yeah I wouldn't have minded that flirty text message at all. But here is a guy who I was sitting having intelligent convos with and bonding etc with, and instead of taking the opportunity to be a classy guy and call me and ask me out he proceeds with the flirty texts that do nothing but turn me off!
Men: Let me tell you something. Unless a girl likes you, or you are super hot, or really good in bed and we know it, seriously - don't start things off with booty calls texts. We will laugh at it and you will look like an idiot and one day realize the game...you don't have.
So there, I explained another reason of why men can suck. I like to have fun don't get me wrong, but i'm also looking for Love... I guess in all the wrong places. So when potential future ex husbands, turn out like this guy - it just proves to me that there really are a lot of lame ass men in the world. Story of my life lately.
Umm...so that is all for now. Ohh wait! Last but not least.
5) Palin.
And really, that's all I need to say. What a fucking idiot. I could be VP better then her...no seriously.
1) Bringing children into a bar.
Now I know that in LA there are a lot of bars that are technically "restaurants" like Cabo Cantina for example, or really any place that has the word "Cantina" at the end now that I think about it. But I seriously had a HUGE fucking problem with being at a bar for happy hour with my friends, enjoying another afternoon Sunday Funday and suddenly seeing a young mom bring her 6month old baby (or younger), in a handheld carriage to the bar. She came upstairs to meet her semi drunk and cigarette friendly group of friends, and sat her baby down smack in the middle of the table and continued to socialize and have a good time. I don't even think she was a young mom who didn't know better. She looked to be in her early 30's. About an hour later, she took off (thank god!), because even the waitress came up to me and said "are you okay" and I replied "yeah i'm fine, just heated that the lady over there had the nerve to bring her baby into a place like this and a little more upset that you guys allow it." wtf! Cabo Cantina is a drunken fun bar in my opinion, not a place to bring kids. Earlier in the day another young girl was forced to sit down and eat with her parents as they chugged beer at watched Football. Around 7pm that night a single dad in his mid 30's walked in with two young daughters probably around 5 and 7 years old. The little girls looked lost and confused as Daddy tried to grab a margarita and catch the remainder of the game.
BUT, to top it all off, around 8pm that night as we were closing up our happy hour tab and clearly everyone at the bar was loud, drunk, and smoking something or another; a Dad...in his late 30's I would guess, came upstairs with his 2 year old daughter to meet a lady friend of his. They sat there three feet in front of me with cigarette smoke everywhere and proceeded to mingle. I couldn't help but think that little girl should be at home in bed! Where is her Mother? I bet her Mom would have flipped had she known Daddy brought her to a bar on his weekend with her. Are people crazy?? What prompts any type of parent to bring their kids any age from infant - 12years old to a bar? Talk about sobering up, the guy is lucky I didn't go up and say anything to him for his horrible parenting skills.
2). Johnny Depp is going to be getting paid 65 million for his role in the new Pirates of the Carribean movie.
I heard it on KIIS Fm this morning and almost flipped. It tops the highest paying acting role of Tom Hanks in the Da Vinci Code, where he got 60 million. BUT, with the economy the way that it is these days, middle class families and even myself! Having to work more than one or two jobs to make ends meet, starving kids in the world etc...you know where i'm going...I have a HUGE problem with film makers paying already rich ass actors this much money when our nation is in a state of growing financial hardship. I seriously don't understand it. And I also don't understand how successful rich people can continue to negotiate and accept this much money knowing the current problems we face.
3) Re-doing the street in front of my office on Colorado Ave and also on Santa Monica Blvd in Beverly Hills, so that they can look "prettier."
Again this is a case of spending my freaking tax dollars and making the streets look prettier by landscaping them with new flowers, rocks, gardens etc. Not only is the construction work taking months to complete and making my commute miserable, I can't help to look at these areas EVERYDAY and think to myself that they already look fine and dandy. Yet someone the Mayor - whoever, has decided to spend dollars on making these two areas look better, with new landscape. WTF? Have you been to Compton or the downtown areas that really could use a little bit of "cleaning up?" and yet Beverly Hills and Santa Monica are getting a make-over? Not cool.
4). Men...again.
Okay Okay...i'll make a long story short and also blunt. A week ago I was out with some friends and caught eyes with this cute, tall guy, (okay maybe I had a little bit of drunk goggles syndrome), but we totally hit it off and ended up wondering off on a walk down Sunset, and having some fun. Good convo, I felt instantly comfortable with him, which is HUGE! to me. I think chemistry is all about that instant comfort zone. Anyways, so we leave the bar at 2 am and he pays for a cab to take me to my friends across town to get some Mexican food. We meet my friends and as my buzz wore off, my friends and I went one way and he went the other. I woke up the next morning bummed I didn't give him my number, because I thought to myself that I actually met a cool, sexy, fun, chill, intelligent guy who claimed to have a lot of the qualities I look for. So I was bummed I was never going to hear from him again. Well I guess I had a little too much to drink because this past Friday night as I walk in my door after my night at Universal I get this random text from a 732 area code, and it was him. I guess I did give him mu number! I have to admit I was kind of excited to hear from him, but totally thought it was lame he had my number this whole time and didn't call me! So I woke up the next morning and decided to text him back. Only because I was interested in him from the first time we met. (Note to anyone reading this - I hate when guys start things off with texts, but the reality is that's just how things are these days. Even though I still search for the few who are far and beyond).
I texted him the next morning saying "Hi how are you, I was out late last night blah blah." Now in my head, I thought that would give him the opportunity to write me back something nice instead of a 1am drunk text. But he didn't hit me back the whole day and at 2am that Saturday night/Sunday morning hit me back again. Okay - WTF. I'm not naive to your 2am texts, but if that's going to be the case - that shit is going to be on my terms. So again I was let down, this guy who I thought was classier than what he obviously is, hit me with the 2am texts. Umm hello, I don't even know you, but thought you were cool as shit, and p.s. if I want some you're not going to be the first person I call!
So yesterday around 2pm I decided to mess with him, after again waking up to his drunk text. I wrote him and said " Why don't you give me a call instead of those 130am texts ;)" And he writes back "Why don't you keep your ideas to yourself, unless you want to get spa_nked;)" OMG!! Now if i was into a guy or dating him, yeah I wouldn't have minded that flirty text message at all. But here is a guy who I was sitting having intelligent convos with and bonding etc with, and instead of taking the opportunity to be a classy guy and call me and ask me out he proceeds with the flirty texts that do nothing but turn me off!
Men: Let me tell you something. Unless a girl likes you, or you are super hot, or really good in bed and we know it, seriously - don't start things off with booty calls texts. We will laugh at it and you will look like an idiot and one day realize the game...you don't have.
So there, I explained another reason of why men can suck. I like to have fun don't get me wrong, but i'm also looking for Love... I guess in all the wrong places. So when potential future ex husbands, turn out like this guy - it just proves to me that there really are a lot of lame ass men in the world. Story of my life lately.
Umm...so that is all for now. Ohh wait! Last but not least.
5) Palin.
And really, that's all I need to say. What a fucking idiot. I could be VP better then her...no seriously.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Remeber this?
"Ice Ice Baby"
by Vanilla Ice
from "To the Extreme"
Yo, VIP, Let's kick it!
Ice Ice Baby
Ice Ice Baby
All right stop
Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flowin like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop?
Yo--I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
Dance
Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killin your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less that the best is a felony
Love it or leave it
You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye
The kid dont play
If there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla (4X)
Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in, the Vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point, to the point no faking
Cooking MC's like a pound of bacon
Burning 'em if they're ain't quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin in my 5.0
With my ragtop down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby
Waving just to say HI
Did you stop?
No--I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I bust a left and I'm heading to the next block
That block was dead
Yo--so I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Shay with a guage and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The Chumps are acting ill because they're so full of eight balls
Gunshots ranged out like a bell
I grabbed my nine--
All I heard were shells
Fallin on the concrete real fast
Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas
Bumper to bumper the avenue's packed
I'm tryin to get away before the jackers jack
Police on the scene
You know what I mean
They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends
If there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla (4X)
Take heed, 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
Miami's on the scene just in case you didn't know it
My town, that created all the bass sound
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my style's like a chemical spill
Feasible rhymes that you can vision and feel
Conducted and formed
It's a hell of a concept
We make it hype and you want to step with this
Shay palays on the fade, sliced like a ninja
Cut like a razor blade so fast
Other DJ's say, "Damn"
If my rhyme was a drug
I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice
If there was a problem
Yo--I'll solve it!
Check out the hook while Deshay revolves it.
Ice Ice Baby Vanilla (4X)
Yo man--let's get out of here!
Word to your mother!
Ice Ice baby Too Cold
Ice Ice baby Too Cold Too cold (3X)
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Frustrated.
Writing a check for $1200 to live each month in a small but cute, studio in Hollywood, CA is fucking FRUSTRATING!! It saddens me that my entire pay check, (if my overtime is correct) will have to go to god damn rent. Which means the money I currently hold... which isn't much, has to last me for another two weeks. Which means here I go again pay check to fucking pay check. Things weren't always like this. I know it's my fault for not wanting a roommate, but I'm just over having one in general no matter how awesome or shitty they may or may not be. I need a better job. I need to get the fuck out of LA. One of the two.
I could be paying a mortgage in another city somewhere out in the Midwest.
And I question myself often, is all this worth it? What is all this?
Sitting here, broke. Trying to make ends meet, using my credit card for far too many things. Frustrated that I am constantly having to turn down social events and opportunities. I can't even put a major travel plan on the map for awhile. I'm annoyed. And should be. Four years of devotion and shitty checks every two weeks. I can't wait for the day....
Ugh. :-(
Anyone else feel my pain? Pay day doesn't feel like fucking pay day when your whole check has to go to rent. And the other pay checks bills and loans. I don't get it. In college I was always the head of my game, everyone loved me and all my amazing internships blah. I was sought after. Now often I feel lost in a world of chit chatter chaos and buzzing blackberries. This is the year. I swear.
Sincerely,
Annoyed. But trying to stay positive.
I could be paying a mortgage in another city somewhere out in the Midwest.
And I question myself often, is all this worth it? What is all this?
Sitting here, broke. Trying to make ends meet, using my credit card for far too many things. Frustrated that I am constantly having to turn down social events and opportunities. I can't even put a major travel plan on the map for awhile. I'm annoyed. And should be. Four years of devotion and shitty checks every two weeks. I can't wait for the day....
Ugh. :-(
Anyone else feel my pain? Pay day doesn't feel like fucking pay day when your whole check has to go to rent. And the other pay checks bills and loans. I don't get it. In college I was always the head of my game, everyone loved me and all my amazing internships blah. I was sought after. Now often I feel lost in a world of chit chatter chaos and buzzing blackberries. This is the year. I swear.
Sincerely,
Annoyed. But trying to stay positive.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Men and Cars.
I haven't been super inspired to write anything good lately, or really...nothing at all. Not sure why that is, but for fun I thought I would post up the top 5 men in the media, I would love a date with! Not only based on looks, but these guys just seem like good, cool, humble guys.
But first I want to start of by laughing at myself, as I realized late last night that I tend to describe men and dating, by using the analogy of a passenger in a car, a lot. I was on the on the phone with an old girlfriend who's ex boyfriend recently gave her the speech of "I just don't want to be in a relationship right now," blah blah, my god! I've known four girls who were all given the same speech lately - myself included! Are the moons out of order these days? Seriously men, I ask you - why do you even bother getting involved with all of us awesome gals, if you know in the first place what path you are currently on and that that doesn't involve a a girl? Please, spare us next time. Anyways...so I was talking to my friend and she was questioning me of whether or not she should ask this guy out from her work etc, and I said "of course - go for it!" Now I personally have only ever asked one guy out, but I do think it's 2008 and maybe that should happen more often.
Half the time I think men are just scared to approach us for fear of whatever, and so they chicken out on getting a number or striking up a convo. I know that is the case. And for shits and giggles if you are ever super bored go on Craiglist to the "missed connection" section, I get such a kick out of men trying to find the lady they chickened out with earlier in the week, over an Internet plea. It's quite humorous.
So back to my analogy of men in cars. My friend was telling me how she wants to ask this guy out but can't get her ex out of her head, still thinks about him all the time, etc etc. I was telling her that she needs to get him out of the back seat of her car and push him to the trunk, and eventually out the door. She laughed as I said this and asked "huh?" But here is my theory:
When you are a single gal, you are in the car alone, grooving to your music, thinking out loud or to yourself - doing your daily routine. You are enjoying your alone time. When you start to date someone or get involved in a relationship the guy ends up in your passenger seat. You should still be driving ;) He usually stays in the passenger seat for some time. For some of us weeks, others - months, and the good ones - years. Of course you may get into an accident every now and then or let him drive from time to time, but at the end of the day he's in your passenger seat and you two are enjoying the ride.
Now, when things get rocky or you take a break or you break up, he is automatically pushed to the backseat. He stays in the backseat, as you two think about what you want. You are in the phase of moving on etc, but he is still in your head. If you think about him, want him still, miss him, hang out or talk occasionally, while dating other guys casually...if he's still in your mind, whether all the time or once in a awhile...he's still in the damn backseat. He does not move from the backseat, until you start dating another guy who you realize, "wow maybe there are other men out there, and I was crazy for being so into so and so." When you start to get butterflies to hang out with new guy, see him a couple times a week or just find yourself looking forward to the next phone call, your old guy is immediately locked in the trunk, while new guy hops into the passenger seat for a fun ride. Why is it that the ride always starts off so fun, fine and dandy?
So you slowly become all into new guy, while still playing it cool for fear of him realizing too soon you actually do dig him, and sooner or later you realize you have feelings for him. THIS LADIES, is when (in my opinion) old guy is kicked out of car for good, and new guy continues to comfortably sit in the passenger seat. You go for a new ride, listen to new music, have new adventures, travel new roads, new trips, new paths, new car ride convo's. You stop at a redlight and take a moment to yourself to smile on the inside and remember that happy place again; and that you are in it once again. You look back at the past and realize every guy you date is like a road trip. When the trip ends, he's no longer in the car.
Well, this is seriously the half tipsy talk I gave my friend last night and it made sense to her. We all have to remember that life can be a joy ride if we let it be. There might be fender benders and accidents along the way, but all in all it's our journey to ride through. And when that big day comes where you walk down the isle, as we've all dreamed of since we were 5 years old, you realize THEN that you are about to embark on the best trip yet. To me, that trip should be everlasting.
SO, on that note...back to my top 5 Men In The Spotlight list. I want a date with these boys!
1) Philip Rivers, QB of the San Diego Chargers. Hot, funny, sweet, on my hometown team, and most of all I'm such a sucker for Football players! For the first time I'm on a Fantasy Football team this year, and while I've been getting really into the games, I have to admit my true fantasy is really ending up with a hot football player!
2) Peyton Manning. QB of the Indianapolis, Colts. Love him. And most of all love that he has a brother for my best friend, so we can both get married, become rich housewives and sister in laws!
3)John Mayer. Now I NEVER thought John Mayer was sexy, and for the longest time I questioned how he could get such lovelies like Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston. He used to come across as cold to me. But I saw him on a television interview the other day, and he seemed like such a down to earth sexy guy! I try so hard to stay away from ever dating anyone in the music industry, but I think I'd be okay with Mr. Mayer.
4) Mario Lopez. Loved him since Saved by the Bell and also love a little Latin from time to time. Not to mention - those abs! And he is from SD and even went to my Alma Matter! Watch out Karina! Plus, doesn't he just have a "bring home to mom smile?"
5) Adrian from Entourage. Such a cutie, those eyes, need I say more.
6) Billy Ray Syrus...okay that's 6. I know he's Miley's Dad but I seriously think he's sexy! And a Southern Gent.Just one night with him will suffice. :)
But first I want to start of by laughing at myself, as I realized late last night that I tend to describe men and dating, by using the analogy of a passenger in a car, a lot. I was on the on the phone with an old girlfriend who's ex boyfriend recently gave her the speech of "I just don't want to be in a relationship right now," blah blah, my god! I've known four girls who were all given the same speech lately - myself included! Are the moons out of order these days? Seriously men, I ask you - why do you even bother getting involved with all of us awesome gals, if you know in the first place what path you are currently on and that that doesn't involve a a girl? Please, spare us next time. Anyways...so I was talking to my friend and she was questioning me of whether or not she should ask this guy out from her work etc, and I said "of course - go for it!" Now I personally have only ever asked one guy out, but I do think it's 2008 and maybe that should happen more often.
Half the time I think men are just scared to approach us for fear of whatever, and so they chicken out on getting a number or striking up a convo. I know that is the case. And for shits and giggles if you are ever super bored go on Craiglist to the "missed connection" section, I get such a kick out of men trying to find the lady they chickened out with earlier in the week, over an Internet plea. It's quite humorous.
So back to my analogy of men in cars. My friend was telling me how she wants to ask this guy out but can't get her ex out of her head, still thinks about him all the time, etc etc. I was telling her that she needs to get him out of the back seat of her car and push him to the trunk, and eventually out the door. She laughed as I said this and asked "huh?" But here is my theory:
When you are a single gal, you are in the car alone, grooving to your music, thinking out loud or to yourself - doing your daily routine. You are enjoying your alone time. When you start to date someone or get involved in a relationship the guy ends up in your passenger seat. You should still be driving ;) He usually stays in the passenger seat for some time. For some of us weeks, others - months, and the good ones - years. Of course you may get into an accident every now and then or let him drive from time to time, but at the end of the day he's in your passenger seat and you two are enjoying the ride.
Now, when things get rocky or you take a break or you break up, he is automatically pushed to the backseat. He stays in the backseat, as you two think about what you want. You are in the phase of moving on etc, but he is still in your head. If you think about him, want him still, miss him, hang out or talk occasionally, while dating other guys casually...if he's still in your mind, whether all the time or once in a awhile...he's still in the damn backseat. He does not move from the backseat, until you start dating another guy who you realize, "wow maybe there are other men out there, and I was crazy for being so into so and so." When you start to get butterflies to hang out with new guy, see him a couple times a week or just find yourself looking forward to the next phone call, your old guy is immediately locked in the trunk, while new guy hops into the passenger seat for a fun ride. Why is it that the ride always starts off so fun, fine and dandy?
So you slowly become all into new guy, while still playing it cool for fear of him realizing too soon you actually do dig him, and sooner or later you realize you have feelings for him. THIS LADIES, is when (in my opinion) old guy is kicked out of car for good, and new guy continues to comfortably sit in the passenger seat. You go for a new ride, listen to new music, have new adventures, travel new roads, new trips, new paths, new car ride convo's. You stop at a redlight and take a moment to yourself to smile on the inside and remember that happy place again; and that you are in it once again. You look back at the past and realize every guy you date is like a road trip. When the trip ends, he's no longer in the car.
Well, this is seriously the half tipsy talk I gave my friend last night and it made sense to her. We all have to remember that life can be a joy ride if we let it be. There might be fender benders and accidents along the way, but all in all it's our journey to ride through. And when that big day comes where you walk down the isle, as we've all dreamed of since we were 5 years old, you realize THEN that you are about to embark on the best trip yet. To me, that trip should be everlasting.
SO, on that note...back to my top 5 Men In The Spotlight list. I want a date with these boys!
1) Philip Rivers, QB of the San Diego Chargers. Hot, funny, sweet, on my hometown team, and most of all I'm such a sucker for Football players! For the first time I'm on a Fantasy Football team this year, and while I've been getting really into the games, I have to admit my true fantasy is really ending up with a hot football player!
2) Peyton Manning. QB of the Indianapolis, Colts. Love him. And most of all love that he has a brother for my best friend, so we can both get married, become rich housewives and sister in laws!
3)John Mayer. Now I NEVER thought John Mayer was sexy, and for the longest time I questioned how he could get such lovelies like Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston. He used to come across as cold to me. But I saw him on a television interview the other day, and he seemed like such a down to earth sexy guy! I try so hard to stay away from ever dating anyone in the music industry, but I think I'd be okay with Mr. Mayer.
4) Mario Lopez. Loved him since Saved by the Bell and also love a little Latin from time to time. Not to mention - those abs! And he is from SD and even went to my Alma Matter! Watch out Karina! Plus, doesn't he just have a "bring home to mom smile?"
5) Adrian from Entourage. Such a cutie, those eyes, need I say more.
6) Billy Ray Syrus...okay that's 6. I know he's Miley's Dad but I seriously think he's sexy! And a Southern Gent.Just one night with him will suffice. :)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
through the looking glass.
through the looking glass i once peered.
looking for the white rabbit i once knew
Adventure
magic
explore
learn
Adventure
magic
explore
learn
seeing you skip through the clouds and mazes
trying to follow, but too fast for thriumph.
wanting to find you, see you again!
white rabbit
where are you going?
what are you doing?
i'm right here!
turn around, find me.
i'm the blond haired, blue eyed beauty.
Alice.
we went on adventures
i want to go one more.
please take me in hand,
i want to explore
this wonderland more.
i want to explore
this wonderland more.
where are you?
skipping down the maze
trying to find who?
it's a maze out there.
i was adventure.
i was real.
and you could feel.
and you could feel.
white rabbit,
wait!
turn around.
adventures are in your hand
in wonder land.
i want to explore them with you!
not wonder who. or who are you?
said the catepillar.
said the catepillar.
stop.
turn around.
find me.
i'm right here.
not far, but near.
i miss you.
white rabbit.
maybe you will find the clue.
then turn around to get me
and i can stop wondering...
why.
why.
who.
(i've been in this weird poem phase lately. it will cease, eventually).
(i've been in this weird poem phase lately. it will cease, eventually).
Sunday, September 21, 2008
on my mind.
i talk a lot.
but then i'm a mouse.
it's not me.
it's we.
and i don't want to be that way,
but that's just the way it is.
can i click my heals twice and things will change?
i don't want to feel so strange.
how can i communicate
when you have nothing to respond with
that will make me grow, motivate, inspire,
i have love
much love
unconditional love.
but ironically,
i'm known the least
by you.
of knowing who i really am
surface deep
mile high.
i'm complex and deep
motivational and interesting
intelligent and funny.
i try to let you explore,
get to know me to find out more.
i have a really deep core.
i want you to know it
and find it and meet it and love it.
just like you already do.
but really, you have no clue.
i never know what to say,
i just talk about my day.
and in return hear m'kay.
is there more that i don't see?
i don't know?
i'm sure there is spark and meat i don't know about!
The juice is what I want, what makes me thrive.
and i'd love to know! and hear stories!
i'm an open book!
Look;
i wish i knew more.
i wish i didn't keep it all in.
i try.
i need to be better.
or at least jot it all down in a letter.
turn those childhood memories into adult recognition
i'd want to see and breath the ambition.
love,
tiffany.
but then i'm a mouse.
it's not me.
it's we.
and i don't want to be that way,
but that's just the way it is.
can i click my heals twice and things will change?
i don't want to feel so strange.
how can i communicate
when you have nothing to respond with
that will make me grow, motivate, inspire,
i have love
much love
unconditional love.
but ironically,
i'm known the least
by you.
of knowing who i really am
surface deep
mile high.
i'm complex and deep
motivational and interesting
intelligent and funny.
i try to let you explore,
get to know me to find out more.
i have a really deep core.
i want you to know it
and find it and meet it and love it.
just like you already do.
but really, you have no clue.
i never know what to say,
i just talk about my day.
and in return hear m'kay.
is there more that i don't see?
i don't know?
i'm sure there is spark and meat i don't know about!
The juice is what I want, what makes me thrive.
and i'd love to know! and hear stories!
i'm an open book!
Look;
i wish i knew more.
i wish i didn't keep it all in.
i try.
i need to be better.
or at least jot it all down in a letter.
turn those childhood memories into adult recognition
i'd want to see and breath the ambition.
love,
tiffany.
Friday, September 19, 2008
A night out on La Cienga. Oh my.
I sit here once again dehydrated from the previous night's adventures, and while I should consume water and more water and more water, of course I turn to my new coffee addiction called "Wake up call," from the coffee and juice joint next door. Supposedly it's healthier for me, since they use cocoa protein powder vs. that sugary Starbucks delicious syrup, but either way it's not conquering my poor thirst. I need to wake up first.
Last night was quite an adventure. My my, that seems to be such a ritual lately. Plans of happy hour which turn into a night of bar hopping fun. Last night I went out with my friend M to the Belmont on La Cienga. These are my thoughts in the Belmont; awesome food, strong drinks, nice patio seating, good happy hour selection, ...annoying industry people with cigarettes and blackberries in hand. My god, can you go anywhere in LA without over-hearing annoying industry chit chat and people with their blackberries on their lap? The answer is; not really. I get it, trust me I get it, but the thing I will never transform into is one of those jaded, obnoxious blackberry, over-loud talking film or music people. I do what I do, but I really try hard not to bring it with me everywhere I go, especially on my personal time. So anyways, my friend and I enjoy our strong flavored cocktails, sweet potato fries, tuna tartare and artichoke, while talking away and gossiping about the life that never changes at camp S-NY, and taking in the second hand smoke around us. We try to tune out but listen to the wanna be "young hollywood stars" next to us talk about their walk on roles on CSI and the new 90210 (which I have issues with already). They sit there (two guys, not girls) drinking an Amstel light and eating a delicious ahi tuna salad. I couldn't help to think they really wanted the burger, onion rings, and Newcastle, but of course they had to watch their boyish figs.
So after an hour and half at the bar, our waitress reminded us we were sitting at a "reserved" table. Although no one came up to claim it, but luckily we were done and decided to go next door to check out STK.
STK. A place I drive by daily but have failed to go to do to the long lines and hype outside. Since it was early we decided to go have a drink at the bar, and check it out. Much to my surprise, the place wasn't super busy yet and we took a seat in the bar area which had a strong curious "basil" scent in the room. It only took about 10 minutes for the size zero, perfectly portioned waitress, to walk by us three times and regret to ask us what we wanted. So of course I stood up to go to the bar and order and she came back to us. My goodness, we only wanted A drink. While the place was cool and I loved the decor, and would want to try the food on a "business meeting" adventure, I was really annoyed with the service staff. Not only did they try to put on this sleek attitude, ALL of them looked like they were hand picked out of Calvin Klein modeling show to work for STK. Talk about equal opportunity employment? Umm yeah, that doesn't exist at STK. I was quite jealous though of our waitress who was about to get a phat tip for the night, as she sat there waiting and helping on the 4 owners of the restaurant. It was funny to see her smirk and flirt away with a rich 55 year old men. At least she made $500 bucks from one table.
So after a drink which cost $15 a pop!, we decided to go across the street to one of my favorite spots The Spanish Kitchen. Hooray for free chips and salsa, awesome sangria and cool, chill, people. My friend and I continued to bond over many stories that were much needed in catching each other up. I vented to her about what kind of man I really want and made fun of past dating prospects. It was quite hilarious. Soon after, as I make friends with the bar tender for a free shot (I have to admit I'm good at that!), we realize we both have to function (today), and head out for the night. But don't worry Oscar the bartender - we will be back for Taco Tuesday!
We make the long journey of a walk back to our cars. I say journey because of course we pass Koi and Area, with every look - a - like and D lister outside and tons of paparazzi just loitering around waiting to hopefully catch that next shot of Lindsey and Sam. Leave them alone! They just want some dinner! Walking by all this, I started blurting out loud to my friend reminding her why I want to leave LA and journey on up to the Bay. So I don't have to deal with all this commotion...ever. My god, it's really getting to me these days. May 09 needs to come sooner than later.
Anyways, I had a pretty fun and eventful night. I thought I would ramble about it on here, so I can put off doing any type of real work for the time being. I'm very much looking forward to the OC Octoberfest on Saturday. I plan on getting my German on.
xo.
Last night was quite an adventure. My my, that seems to be such a ritual lately. Plans of happy hour which turn into a night of bar hopping fun. Last night I went out with my friend M to the Belmont on La Cienga. These are my thoughts in the Belmont; awesome food, strong drinks, nice patio seating, good happy hour selection, ...annoying industry people with cigarettes and blackberries in hand. My god, can you go anywhere in LA without over-hearing annoying industry chit chat and people with their blackberries on their lap? The answer is; not really. I get it, trust me I get it, but the thing I will never transform into is one of those jaded, obnoxious blackberry, over-loud talking film or music people. I do what I do, but I really try hard not to bring it with me everywhere I go, especially on my personal time. So anyways, my friend and I enjoy our strong flavored cocktails, sweet potato fries, tuna tartare and artichoke, while talking away and gossiping about the life that never changes at camp S-NY, and taking in the second hand smoke around us. We try to tune out but listen to the wanna be "young hollywood stars" next to us talk about their walk on roles on CSI and the new 90210 (which I have issues with already). They sit there (two guys, not girls) drinking an Amstel light and eating a delicious ahi tuna salad. I couldn't help to think they really wanted the burger, onion rings, and Newcastle, but of course they had to watch their boyish figs.
So after an hour and half at the bar, our waitress reminded us we were sitting at a "reserved" table. Although no one came up to claim it, but luckily we were done and decided to go next door to check out STK.
STK. A place I drive by daily but have failed to go to do to the long lines and hype outside. Since it was early we decided to go have a drink at the bar, and check it out. Much to my surprise, the place wasn't super busy yet and we took a seat in the bar area which had a strong curious "basil" scent in the room. It only took about 10 minutes for the size zero, perfectly portioned waitress, to walk by us three times and regret to ask us what we wanted. So of course I stood up to go to the bar and order and she came back to us. My goodness, we only wanted A drink. While the place was cool and I loved the decor, and would want to try the food on a "business meeting" adventure, I was really annoyed with the service staff. Not only did they try to put on this sleek attitude, ALL of them looked like they were hand picked out of Calvin Klein modeling show to work for STK. Talk about equal opportunity employment? Umm yeah, that doesn't exist at STK. I was quite jealous though of our waitress who was about to get a phat tip for the night, as she sat there waiting and helping on the 4 owners of the restaurant. It was funny to see her smirk and flirt away with a rich 55 year old men. At least she made $500 bucks from one table.
So after a drink which cost $15 a pop!, we decided to go across the street to one of my favorite spots The Spanish Kitchen. Hooray for free chips and salsa, awesome sangria and cool, chill, people. My friend and I continued to bond over many stories that were much needed in catching each other up. I vented to her about what kind of man I really want and made fun of past dating prospects. It was quite hilarious. Soon after, as I make friends with the bar tender for a free shot (I have to admit I'm good at that!), we realize we both have to function (today), and head out for the night. But don't worry Oscar the bartender - we will be back for Taco Tuesday!
We make the long journey of a walk back to our cars. I say journey because of course we pass Koi and Area, with every look - a - like and D lister outside and tons of paparazzi just loitering around waiting to hopefully catch that next shot of Lindsey and Sam. Leave them alone! They just want some dinner! Walking by all this, I started blurting out loud to my friend reminding her why I want to leave LA and journey on up to the Bay. So I don't have to deal with all this commotion...ever. My god, it's really getting to me these days. May 09 needs to come sooner than later.
Anyways, I had a pretty fun and eventful night. I thought I would ramble about it on here, so I can put off doing any type of real work for the time being. I'm very much looking forward to the OC Octoberfest on Saturday. I plan on getting my German on.
xo.
Friday, September 12, 2008
uhh, survey says.
Brain dead at work.
i think a pair of gym pants somewhere, who knows.
2) Do you have a date this weekend?
yes!
3) Can you live without the computer?
on vacation, most definitely.
4) Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?
nope. not really.
5) Do you get along with guys or girls better?
girls for sure. i've never been one to have a huge amount of guy friends. i'm too big of a flirt. if they're cute...my mind goes elsewhere, unless they are taken of course.
6) Do you hide your emotions?
it depends. with men - no, i'm always outspoken. but i've learned to hide emotions upfront, for real. with friends - I am always honest and let them know what's up. with family - i tend to hide it. part of my only child syndrome i'm sure.
7) Has anyone ever called you baby?
yes. but i'm not a big fan of people using it as a general term like 'hey baby'...i think it should be special and used with someone special. it feels better. although i'm totally guilty of occasionally using it casually myself.
8) What book are you reading?
The Secret. Dirt by Augusten Burroughs. GMAT and CSET study books.
9) Who was the last person you had an argument with?
someone who I would consider my sister. long story. end of story. hope for new beginning.
10) Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
both. baths at night. showers in the morning.
11) When was the last time you had pizza?
two weeks ago at happy hour. not a huge pizza fan, i'm crazy i know.
12) What is the last movie you saw in a theater?
Bottle Shock.
13) What do you wish you had right now at this moment?
a pumpkin spice nonfat latte from starbucks. a paycheck.
14) When was the last time you got really upset?
sunday night. but in general i don't usually get upset i try to let things go and move on.
15) Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?
no. but i've taken kids to make one before.
16) Worst relationship mistake you wish you could take back?
pms moments. being clingy, sometimes. falling into shit too fast. umm, that's three. different guys.
17) Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
of course!
18) When you see new people, do you critique how they look or act?
I wouldn't call it critique...more of trying to figure out their story. and since i appreciate style and fashion, i usually give an up and down.
19) Do you have nice eyes?
i think so they're baby blue and sometimes teal.
20) What is something you need to go shopping for?
a new car. new jeans. boots w them fur. scrunch boots. fall/winter cute hoodies. well, a car would be my most "need." ...Dad? i wish.
21) Whose birthday is coming up?
Jon Kennette's!
22) Were you happy when you woke up?
yes. although it took me forever to get out of bed and hit the gym.
23) How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
33-35. i really don't want to have kids before i'm 30. 30-32 is my ideal age. we'll see. let's start w...finding my perfect man.
24) Would you do anything to have someone back in your life?
uhh, anything is a strong word. not anything, but some things, possibly.
25) What are you currently thinking about?
happy hour later and how my maragarita sounds good even though it's cold out. this day feels such like a routine. i want to leave the office now and head to the Promenade, but instead i'm stuck playing travel agent/tour marketing department.
26) Who was the last person that called you?
my bestie.
27) Who were you on July 4th, 2008?
myself, confused. in vegas via san diego.
28) Why do you like the person you like?
and who would that be?? no one at the moment!!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Today.
I was woken up this morning early; probably 7am or so by the sound of a very loud helicopter in the sky. It wouldn't stop, the sound kept on rumbling bigger and louder as if it were over my apartment roof. Although I was in a deep sleep and in the middle of an awesome dream, I slowly came out of my sleep half awake, and jumped back into reality to remember that today is a day seven years ago, that changed our nation and world forever. Those sounds of the helicopters above me made my heart skip a beat, my morning a little more cautious. I jumped to turn on the news (which I never do anymore in the morning but should), to make sure things were kosher.
Today just feels erie. Doesn't it? It's always sunny in Southern California and today, it's cold. It feels like everything you do on this day has to be done with somewhat caution, respect and remembrance of 9/11.
Seven years ago, I remember the morning feeling different. Nothing had happened yet, except my stomach had this odd gut feeling, no seriously - it did, the same time the terrorists were boarding at Boston Logan Airport. It was my second day of school of my sophomore year in college, and I had only been in Boston a week. I headed to my first class of the morning, Art History, and my teacher had the news on. All I kept hearing were the Trade Towers, and me being the California native that I am, thought the Trade Towers were in Boston. Whoops. Hey, I was new to the East Coast. It was all overwhelming to me, my teacher had on the news, class had only been in session 15 minutes or so and then the attack happened. Everyone froze. I was utterly confused as was everyone else. I remember my teacher saying was that class was cancelled immediately, however we could stay if we wanted too ( I guess he figured at that point it would offer comfort if nothing else). My teacher explained to all of us what was going on. I'm sure we all looked liked confused and ghostly scared 19 year olds on our second day of school. The girl who sat across from me raised her hand and said "My parents work at the Trade Towers, I have to go." At that point we all followed her exit one by one. Her parents, come to find out a week later, both died.
I will never forget my experience on this day and the days to follow. I'm sure it was nothing like it was in Manhattan, New York. But if you weren't experiencing this tragedy first hand in New York, you definitely felt the mystery of it in Boston. Where it all started in the morning... the same morning I was excited to go to my second day of class, terrorists were in the city.I truly don't think you can have as strong of a connection to this event if you were in any other city besides New York or Boston because you didn't feel it.
In Boston, the city of a couple million turned into a ghost town, literally. Every store, every cafe, every college, every building was locked. No one was on the street. I remember staying in my apartment with my roommates just glaring at the news. I wanted so bad to fly home. I had just got to Boston, this wasn't a way to start it off. I was scared. And to this day, (knock on wood), that is the only time in my life that I have actually been scared, as in frightened for my life. The phone lines were dead, for days. So for the next two days I did nothing but stay in my apartment like everyone else....trying to take in, what just happened.
A couple days later, school was back in session but it was optional. And it stayed optional for the first two weeks. I decided I would go to take my mind of things. The city was slowly starting to move again, breath again. But it was paralyzed. There were bomb squads and police EVERYWHERE. You couldn't enter any public building. The subways were all closed. You couldn't get out of the city. I remember calling my parents crying, saying I was actually really scared and I wanted to come home. I didn't care if the plane ticket was $10,000 dollars, I was coming home. But I was screwed, airlines were down for weeks.
Well 7 years later, I survived, but many didn't. I stuck through my experience in Boston, but I will never forget it. What happened on 9/11, was a living nightmare for the world. I am one of those people who believe in the conspiracy theory of it. Are you?
"If you're going to lie, make sure it's a big enough lie, that no one will ever catch it."
That line came from our President. And that is why we do not need another Bush come this November.
September 11Th, will never be the same. It will never feel the same. But in my opinion, it is a true example of how life goes on and you cannot live in fear.
Today just feels erie. Doesn't it? It's always sunny in Southern California and today, it's cold. It feels like everything you do on this day has to be done with somewhat caution, respect and remembrance of 9/11.
Seven years ago, I remember the morning feeling different. Nothing had happened yet, except my stomach had this odd gut feeling, no seriously - it did, the same time the terrorists were boarding at Boston Logan Airport. It was my second day of school of my sophomore year in college, and I had only been in Boston a week. I headed to my first class of the morning, Art History, and my teacher had the news on. All I kept hearing were the Trade Towers, and me being the California native that I am, thought the Trade Towers were in Boston. Whoops. Hey, I was new to the East Coast. It was all overwhelming to me, my teacher had on the news, class had only been in session 15 minutes or so and then the attack happened. Everyone froze. I was utterly confused as was everyone else. I remember my teacher saying was that class was cancelled immediately, however we could stay if we wanted too ( I guess he figured at that point it would offer comfort if nothing else). My teacher explained to all of us what was going on. I'm sure we all looked liked confused and ghostly scared 19 year olds on our second day of school. The girl who sat across from me raised her hand and said "My parents work at the Trade Towers, I have to go." At that point we all followed her exit one by one. Her parents, come to find out a week later, both died.
I will never forget my experience on this day and the days to follow. I'm sure it was nothing like it was in Manhattan, New York. But if you weren't experiencing this tragedy first hand in New York, you definitely felt the mystery of it in Boston. Where it all started in the morning... the same morning I was excited to go to my second day of class, terrorists were in the city.I truly don't think you can have as strong of a connection to this event if you were in any other city besides New York or Boston because you didn't feel it.
In Boston, the city of a couple million turned into a ghost town, literally. Every store, every cafe, every college, every building was locked. No one was on the street. I remember staying in my apartment with my roommates just glaring at the news. I wanted so bad to fly home. I had just got to Boston, this wasn't a way to start it off. I was scared. And to this day, (knock on wood), that is the only time in my life that I have actually been scared, as in frightened for my life. The phone lines were dead, for days. So for the next two days I did nothing but stay in my apartment like everyone else....trying to take in, what just happened.
A couple days later, school was back in session but it was optional. And it stayed optional for the first two weeks. I decided I would go to take my mind of things. The city was slowly starting to move again, breath again. But it was paralyzed. There were bomb squads and police EVERYWHERE. You couldn't enter any public building. The subways were all closed. You couldn't get out of the city. I remember calling my parents crying, saying I was actually really scared and I wanted to come home. I didn't care if the plane ticket was $10,000 dollars, I was coming home. But I was screwed, airlines were down for weeks.
Well 7 years later, I survived, but many didn't. I stuck through my experience in Boston, but I will never forget it. What happened on 9/11, was a living nightmare for the world. I am one of those people who believe in the conspiracy theory of it. Are you?
"If you're going to lie, make sure it's a big enough lie, that no one will ever catch it."
That line came from our President. And that is why we do not need another Bush come this November.
September 11Th, will never be the same. It will never feel the same. But in my opinion, it is a true example of how life goes on and you cannot live in fear.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The best 100 calories a girl can ask for.
I picked up these little snack packs of reeses (haven't tried the hershey's ones but i'm sure they are just as good) in Tar-J the other day and i'm convinced they are the best well spent, well used 100 calories on the market. I get a sweet tooth DAILY, these packets save me. And plus I don't feel horrible for stealing candy daily from the candy jar over at HR.
BUY THEM!!
EAT THEM!!
LOVE THEM!!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
My plan of maybe action.
I woke up today, with a realization. Much of my realization lately has been prompted from reading the great little book of knowledge entitled "The Secret," which is really keeping me on a positive - manifest what you want in life, track. And this morning, I woke up with a plan of action that I'm going to most likely make happen for myself, unless a) i get some amazing high paying job offer i just can't resist in LA or b) i find the love of my life in LA ...come next May. Both options, would be well worth staying in this city a little longer for. Mind you, I love LA at times...okay well love is a strong word; "dig" LA at times...many a times...but at other times severely hate it. So as I was reading "The Secret" last night before bed, I was greatly intrigued by the message of the night in the visualization chapter. And it went something like this...
"Think about what you want. Believe in it. Visualize it. As in really visualize every ounce of it and it's details. Then ponder that for awhile. Smile. And think about what you are grateful for now. Except your gratitude. And then slowly everything you want and believe and visualize will come to you."
I know some make think the whole book and it's concepts are complete bullshit - but I don't. So on that note, my realization this morning of thinking of what I want, has to do with my plan of action. That unless points a) or b) above happen before next May...I will then move to San Diego for a couple of months, get a job of whatever sort to save money for a couple months, and then move to San Francisco. Or possibly cut out San Diego option all together, and just go straight to San Francisco (and possibly UC Berk for grad, but that's just something else i've been secretly looking into...but the GMAT, CBEST AND CSET tests scare me)! Seriously, I would love to drop everything and go back to school but the thought of taking another standardized tests frightens me pretty much enough to ignore the idea of grad. I'm horrible at them.
All in all, I will make this happen. I'm due for a change unless a) or b) happen. And I probably sound like I am contradicting myself since I am suppose to manifest! and make a) and b) happen, but deep down that's not really what I want mainly because i'm sick of this city. My gut is slowly aching for a change. I'm not stressing, because I have faith that if I use the tools of this book, everything will fall into place for me one way or another. Moving to San Francisco and getting some amazing job opp up there and having everything else in my life fall into place just perfectly is what I want, what I see in the future for myself, and what is going to happen. And deep down, it's actually what i've been wanting since about my junior year of college.
I know i'm being quite blunt and honest with these bloggings, and I have no clue who may read them. But hey it's my life, i'm 26 and going to live it how I want. I'm just not one of those types to stay in one city my whole life. Life's too short not to go out and explore. La Jolla, California will always be there waiting for me when i'm 52 and ready to retire to my beach house.
p.s. yes, I realize much of my blog lately has been devoted to the theme of life and pondering it. It's a phase, I'll get over it. I like to call it the quarter - life crisis.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Places.
Places I want to travel to by the year 2018.
Ten years, sheesh - I hope it's do-able. Wait, it will be do-able. I'm going to make it happen.
In somewhat of an order, if of course I had my preference:
- Greece
- Costa Rica
- Brazil
- South Africa
- Tokyo/China
- Jamaica
- Argentina
- South of France
- the entire country of Spain (i've already been to Barcelona and fell in love with it)
- Portugal
- Turkey
- Germany
- Russia
- Italy
- Dubai
- Panama
- Figi
- Australia
...and anywhere else in the world. But these places, definitely in my lifetime. Hopefully within the next ten years. I felt the need to document, so that one day I can look back and be proud of myself for accomplishing this and most likely blogging or writing about my experiences.
On a side note, as I sit here watching Sex and the City because I don't feel like another night of drinking or spending the money I don't have on stupid shit, has anyone realized that Miranda and Steve named their son Brady...and Steve's last name is Brady? WTF? Did the writers screw up?
Whatever, it's a fabulous show as is.
Ten years, sheesh - I hope it's do-able. Wait, it will be do-able. I'm going to make it happen.
In somewhat of an order, if of course I had my preference:
- Greece
- Costa Rica
- Brazil
- South Africa
- Tokyo/China
- Jamaica
- Argentina
- South of France
- the entire country of Spain (i've already been to Barcelona and fell in love with it)
- Portugal
- Turkey
- Germany
- Russia
- Italy
- Dubai
- Panama
- Figi
- Australia
...and anywhere else in the world. But these places, definitely in my lifetime. Hopefully within the next ten years. I felt the need to document, so that one day I can look back and be proud of myself for accomplishing this and most likely blogging or writing about my experiences.
On a side note, as I sit here watching Sex and the City because I don't feel like another night of drinking or spending the money I don't have on stupid shit, has anyone realized that Miranda and Steve named their son Brady...and Steve's last name is Brady? WTF? Did the writers screw up?
Whatever, it's a fabulous show as is.
It's getting darker outside.
It's getting darker outside,
do you here the Jazz playing?
It's getting darker outside,
do you feel the soul saying...
it's time for the world to collide your way;
and decide upon the rest come next May.
It's getting darker outside,
but what does that mean?
No more late days...
and foolish ways!
Nah,
The best is yet to come!
It's getting darker outside,
but the weather's still warm.
And now it's time for fuzzy boots
because that's just the norm.
Remember the walks through snow piled high?
Through blizzards and wind-chills that's when I said "bye."
It wasn't my style, just memories to the heart,
for a while.
It's getting darker outside,
but don't be scared.
The journey has just begun,
through the walks of fall,
through the cheers of winter,
through the bliss of spring,
and then once again...
through the dreams of summer.
It's time to take it on!
So "hey there world!"
Bring it on.
It's getting darker outside,
and I'm content.
Change is good.
Change means yes, you could.
And should.
Take a step into the cold.
And see...
what is about to unfold.
do you here the Jazz playing?
It's getting darker outside,
do you feel the soul saying...
it's time for the world to collide your way;
and decide upon the rest come next May.
It's getting darker outside,
but what does that mean?
No more late days...
and foolish ways!
Nah,
The best is yet to come!
It's getting darker outside,
but the weather's still warm.
And now it's time for fuzzy boots
because that's just the norm.
Remember the walks through snow piled high?
Through blizzards and wind-chills that's when I said "bye."
It wasn't my style, just memories to the heart,
for a while.
It's getting darker outside,
but don't be scared.
The journey has just begun,
through the walks of fall,
through the cheers of winter,
through the bliss of spring,
and then once again...
through the dreams of summer.
It's time to take it on!
So "hey there world!"
Bring it on.
It's getting darker outside,
and I'm content.
Change is good.
Change means yes, you could.
And should.
Take a step into the cold.
And see...
what is about to unfold.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Pilates, beach cruisers, and more.
This past week was my week of trying new things. That was the theme of the week, I decided I needed one since prior too (not all), but a lot of my summer has been some-what slumpy (which so does not flow well with my optimistic nature!) thanks to lame ass men and other things. So in my week, I accomplished a lot. And I totally have been on this new kick of "manifesting" and using the "law of attraction," theories...you know like the book "The Secret" and what Dr. Phil and Oprah rave about? Well i've been reading up on it. I dig the concepts, and I believe it really does make for a more positive outlook on life and accomplishing getting what you want. Maybe not instantly, but over time. And the whole cool part about it is, that in the meantime, you don't get all down about things not going how you want because you keep this positive attitude of realizing things happen for a reason, and to focus on the good, and not the bad, and manifest for the things in life you want and spend your energy positively! I dig.
So on that note in my week in my week of trying new things, I tried Pilates...and now i'm hooked! I went to three classes in one week! I don't know what was holding me back from trying it before, but i'm seriously addicted now and it's rad because the class really is relaxing and gets you into that "pilates/yoga" zone while toning you up big time. Plus my teacher said I was good for a beginner - yay! I guess my dance classes and core usage from back in the day did pay off. And hey, we can all use a little tone. Watch out boys, i'm about to be in the best shape ever. I'm convinced I can have a Volleyball players toned ass look, I have the build and i'm not to far off as it is - so that's one of my personal goals. I'm getting close!
Let's see what else? On Tuesday I went to a moving screening of the indie film "Assignation of the High School President," starring Mischa Barton and Bruce Willis. I went on a blind date to this. I'm usually not a fan of blind dates, but I decided what the hell it wouldn't hurt to meet someone new, and i'm a personable enough gal where I have no problem socializing with someone new for a few hours. So we started the night off with some wine and then went to the screening. The movie was cute, but I thought it was way too long, and had a problem watching a film based solely off of high school...it kinda got repetitive. I was actually surprised Bruce Willis took on the film, he's had such great roles in big films, that this one brought down his value I thought.. The venue the screening was at was awesome though. I have been to screenings before but this one was more like premiere. It was at the Montablan Theater - the new Nike owned space in Hollywood. They really went all out with DJ's, decor, cocktails, movie popcorn and candy in huge piles all over the place... if only I were 12 I would have been in heaven with so much yummy stuff to choose from.
On Thursday, I went to the Young Wino's of LA, tasting and movie screening of the film "Bottle Shock." It was nice to do something different for a change and be around new people. Wow two screenings in one week? I got to taste 5 different kinds of wine, and enjoy a new movie. The movie was a good one - but it was way too long, they could have cut it down to an hour and 15 min versus 2.5 hours. If you're a lover of wine - see the movie. It's all about a winery in Napa, that becomes famous after much trial and tribulation...but the wine finally makes it to France and the prestigious tastings, won the entire tastings, and then becomes famous! Don't worry there's an invested love story, and lines of humor that go along with the film to keep you on your feet.
This past weekend was Labor Day, (I love long weekends!), and I went down to the beach with some friends and we rented beach cruisers and rode from Santa Monica to Malibu then back down to Venice and more. I hadn't rode a bike in awhile, it was a lot of fun, and considering we were bar-hopping while riding all along the beach, I was pretty impressed that I stayed on the bike the whole time! (as in didn't loose balance after too much beer). But I had a great time, and met some cool new people, and now am convinced I need to invest in my own beach cruiser. It's not only fun, but a workout too! I want a silver one, with a hot pink seat. I'm workin on that...but I definitely want to make bike riding a bigger part of my weekend affiliations. Man, I used to totally ride my bike everywhere in San Diego...and even Boston, I guess in LA it' so easy to get sucked to one part of town. I would be scared to ride my bike anywhere in Hollywood, considering how bad traffic is.
This week i'm starting a tap class. I know it sounds kind of corny haha, but I used to be quite the tapper! And I miss it, and came across my taps the other day (yes I at once owned 7 pairs at the same time) and signed up for a class. I'm taking the advanced class, so i'm REALLY hoping it will all come back to me. You never forget, it's just hard on the feet at first. But it should be fun.
So that's an update on my week of trying new things. (Ohh whoops I forgot to talk about my acting class but anyways), It goes along well with my whole new manifest way of thinking. It's funny - summer is coming to end, but every day in CA feels like summer for the most part. And even though this summer hasn't been one of the best, I woke up thinking that that at least it started out great with Memorial Day and ended great with Labor Day. Which makes me excited for the rest of the Holidays around the corner.
P.s. yes, i'm already starting to think about Halloween ideas. It's become my favorite holiday, and i've turned into one of those people who celebrate the entire week and not just one night. And I hear it's on a Friday this year? That's perfect. :)
So on that note in my week in my week of trying new things, I tried Pilates...and now i'm hooked! I went to three classes in one week! I don't know what was holding me back from trying it before, but i'm seriously addicted now and it's rad because the class really is relaxing and gets you into that "pilates/yoga" zone while toning you up big time. Plus my teacher said I was good for a beginner - yay! I guess my dance classes and core usage from back in the day did pay off. And hey, we can all use a little tone. Watch out boys, i'm about to be in the best shape ever. I'm convinced I can have a Volleyball players toned ass look, I have the build and i'm not to far off as it is - so that's one of my personal goals. I'm getting close!
Let's see what else? On Tuesday I went to a moving screening of the indie film "Assignation of the High School President," starring Mischa Barton and Bruce Willis. I went on a blind date to this. I'm usually not a fan of blind dates, but I decided what the hell it wouldn't hurt to meet someone new, and i'm a personable enough gal where I have no problem socializing with someone new for a few hours. So we started the night off with some wine and then went to the screening. The movie was cute, but I thought it was way too long, and had a problem watching a film based solely off of high school...it kinda got repetitive. I was actually surprised Bruce Willis took on the film, he's had such great roles in big films, that this one brought down his value I thought.. The venue the screening was at was awesome though. I have been to screenings before but this one was more like premiere. It was at the Montablan Theater - the new Nike owned space in Hollywood. They really went all out with DJ's, decor, cocktails, movie popcorn and candy in huge piles all over the place... if only I were 12 I would have been in heaven with so much yummy stuff to choose from.
On Thursday, I went to the Young Wino's of LA, tasting and movie screening of the film "Bottle Shock." It was nice to do something different for a change and be around new people. Wow two screenings in one week? I got to taste 5 different kinds of wine, and enjoy a new movie. The movie was a good one - but it was way too long, they could have cut it down to an hour and 15 min versus 2.5 hours. If you're a lover of wine - see the movie. It's all about a winery in Napa, that becomes famous after much trial and tribulation...but the wine finally makes it to France and the prestigious tastings, won the entire tastings, and then becomes famous! Don't worry there's an invested love story, and lines of humor that go along with the film to keep you on your feet.
This past weekend was Labor Day, (I love long weekends!), and I went down to the beach with some friends and we rented beach cruisers and rode from Santa Monica to Malibu then back down to Venice and more. I hadn't rode a bike in awhile, it was a lot of fun, and considering we were bar-hopping while riding all along the beach, I was pretty impressed that I stayed on the bike the whole time! (as in didn't loose balance after too much beer). But I had a great time, and met some cool new people, and now am convinced I need to invest in my own beach cruiser. It's not only fun, but a workout too! I want a silver one, with a hot pink seat. I'm workin on that...but I definitely want to make bike riding a bigger part of my weekend affiliations. Man, I used to totally ride my bike everywhere in San Diego...and even Boston, I guess in LA it' so easy to get sucked to one part of town. I would be scared to ride my bike anywhere in Hollywood, considering how bad traffic is.
This week i'm starting a tap class. I know it sounds kind of corny haha, but I used to be quite the tapper! And I miss it, and came across my taps the other day (yes I at once owned 7 pairs at the same time) and signed up for a class. I'm taking the advanced class, so i'm REALLY hoping it will all come back to me. You never forget, it's just hard on the feet at first. But it should be fun.
So that's an update on my week of trying new things. (Ohh whoops I forgot to talk about my acting class but anyways), It goes along well with my whole new manifest way of thinking. It's funny - summer is coming to end, but every day in CA feels like summer for the most part. And even though this summer hasn't been one of the best, I woke up thinking that that at least it started out great with Memorial Day and ended great with Labor Day. Which makes me excited for the rest of the Holidays around the corner.
P.s. yes, i'm already starting to think about Halloween ideas. It's become my favorite holiday, and i've turned into one of those people who celebrate the entire week and not just one night. And I hear it's on a Friday this year? That's perfect. :)
Friday, August 29, 2008
Sunset Junction '08.
One of my favorite things to look forward to every summer in LA LA LAND, is the Sunset Junction in Silverlake. It's a huge street fair/booze fest/pride/street scene concert that's been taking place since the 70's. I gotta admit this year the tickets went up in cost $20 bucks, where last year it was $10 bucks and the year before it was free, but I had such a good time this year that it was well worth the ticket price. Plus our friend's hooked it up up with free beer -yeah! Which was rad because instead of going up to the margarita and beer stands at the fair, and just buying a drink, you had to first wait in line to buy a drink ticket and THEN go wait in line to get your drink. They said this whole concept is suppose to illiminate long lines at the drink stands, which yes I did agree with, but if the people who run sunset junction want to be so precautios about not serving to under age kids - they better think again. It's easy to get a ticket! Did I mention I lost my licenese duringt this whole ticket/drink line process? Yeah, it sucked. But i'm excited to get an updated ID since my picture was from 10 years ago. Anyways, here are some highlights from the fun-filled day.
This chica rocked it out. I forgot her name but I think she was from Columbia or somewhere close. It was the first band we saw, loved her chic little outfit. It was so hot this day we didn't stay for the whole set, but she totally got us pumped for the day. On our way to our friend Stephanie's pad, we ran into this "get your recycle on" man. Support the environment and recycle!
It was so hot out, our friend Stephanie lives right up the street from the fair, so we went over to her neighbors pad, to enjoy some ice cold beers, kiddy pool, and garage sale fun. Amanda and Eric had a good time playing dress up with the items for the garage sale. Amanda loved this wig so much she wore it the whole day - work it out sista!
Eric also loved his viking hat so much he sported it the whole day. I guess I was chicken, I just sported my regular do' the whole day.
I kinda dug this purse from the garage sale:)
My friend Monica and I, in front of of the backdrop which she swore looked just like Costa Rica! Her soon to be home sweet home, and my soon to be vacation spot.
After a few beers, we headed back down to the junction for some good mexican grub and more musica. The crowd was awesome, and that man in the sunglasses - hottie!
Me, Amanda and Steph during Kinky...yes the band. They were awesome! My favorite part of the day.To be continued...
Friday, August 22, 2008
"Life In Technicolor."
Isn't always colorful.
Sometimes it comes in black and white.
And sometimes with no sight at all.
But each day we live it.
And breath it,
The colors that shape our lives.
The experiences that make up our past, present, and future.
Sometimes it's all a blur.
Trying to figure out the bad times, and run with the good.
Trying to keep your head held high, and continue running.
And in the meantime, buy that outfit that feels so stunning.
With the colors that make up life.
It's not always going to be "rainbows and butterflies"
Sometimes it takes a little compromise.
Or so I should learn, and so You should learn, and You, and You, and you all too.
Perfection is a dream, not a reality.
You think it, you want it, you breath it.
You wake up in the morning wishing your dreams would come true,
And your nightmares would go away.
Each day you live, you learn, you grow.
Trying to figure out your flow.
You figure out who you want in your life and who you should let go.
You ponder why you get stuck in the ruts of life? why people do the things they do? why life gets in the way of your perfect rainbow.
WHY happiness turns to hurt?
And hopes turn into lessons.
And lessons turn into strength.
And strength turns into power.
And then...finally, you see the colors again.
Life once appears as vibrant as ever.
Black and white will always be a part of the picture.
Because without it, there wouldn't be any in-perfections.
But the color, the technicolor, is what makes us breath...
What makes us go on adventures and walk down the roads less taken.
What makes us eager to learn,
From the lessons that teach us a new color.
Rainbows always fade.
But from an ugly rain storm they were made.
Was there ever really a pot of gold?
Or was that just an early metaphor for life, before it unfolds.
One day, before we know it,
Our entire life,
Will have passed by.
So live it, love it, laugh at it.
Sometimes its hard,
But you have to play that card.
And take your chances
It's worth it.
It's life.
As a Techincolor.
--me. (in another one of my creative moods.)
Sometimes it comes in black and white.
And sometimes with no sight at all.
But each day we live it.
And breath it,
The colors that shape our lives.
The experiences that make up our past, present, and future.
Sometimes it's all a blur.
Trying to figure out the bad times, and run with the good.
Trying to keep your head held high, and continue running.
And in the meantime, buy that outfit that feels so stunning.
With the colors that make up life.
It's not always going to be "rainbows and butterflies"
Sometimes it takes a little compromise.
Or so I should learn, and so You should learn, and You, and You, and you all too.
Perfection is a dream, not a reality.
You think it, you want it, you breath it.
You wake up in the morning wishing your dreams would come true,
And your nightmares would go away.
Each day you live, you learn, you grow.
Trying to figure out your flow.
You figure out who you want in your life and who you should let go.
You ponder why you get stuck in the ruts of life? why people do the things they do? why life gets in the way of your perfect rainbow.
WHY happiness turns to hurt?
And hopes turn into lessons.
And lessons turn into strength.
And strength turns into power.
And then...finally, you see the colors again.
Life once appears as vibrant as ever.
Black and white will always be a part of the picture.
Because without it, there wouldn't be any in-perfections.
But the color, the technicolor, is what makes us breath...
What makes us go on adventures and walk down the roads less taken.
What makes us eager to learn,
From the lessons that teach us a new color.
Rainbows always fade.
But from an ugly rain storm they were made.
Was there ever really a pot of gold?
Or was that just an early metaphor for life, before it unfolds.
One day, before we know it,
Our entire life,
Will have passed by.
So live it, love it, laugh at it.
Sometimes its hard,
But you have to play that card.
And take your chances
It's worth it.
It's life.
As a Techincolor.
--me. (in another one of my creative moods.)
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I'm obsessed.
With the new Coldplay album. I've always been a fan, but man i'm so stuck on this one. Especially track # 6, but really the whole thing is one of those where you can just listen over and over to every song and it puts you in a feel good, let's think about life, love, and liberty, chill mood. Perhaps that's why it's title is "Live the Life." Definitely a great road trip album, Saturday morning album, and this is a long day at work album. That's all. Check it out! Lovin' it and don't think i've been this into an entire album since my Counting Crows days, well P!nk's last album too and possibly The Fray's.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
10 years ago.
Ten years ago; when life was simple. Although the complications of life back then sometimes felt non - understandable and really all a learning experience, ten years ago my life was quite different. I started thinking tonight of where I was ten years ago. A song came on the radio that topped the charts back in '98 and it sent me into a world of reminisce.
Ten years ago I was sixteen...well really only 10 days into my sweet sixteen. I had just gotten my drivers license, on my birthday to be exact, because I couldn't WAIT to drive my own car. My parents threw me a surprise sweet sixteen pool party and about 50 of my good friends showed up, nowadays I sometimes wonder if I even know 50 people. Definitely not 50 whom I'm close with. We had a tarot card reader, and karaoke, and a characture portrait painter and lots of pizza and crazy musical theater kids running around. That's what I remember. My life was filled and surrounded by the arts. If I wasn't in a play, I was auditioning, learning how to teach, or watching one. It was my life. That, and going on random joy rides in my Pontiac Grand Prie with my friends. :-) I was surrounded with good people and families, and mentors who I still would consider mentors, granted I never speak to them. But they made me grow.
Ten years ago, my summer time was filled with summer stock theater, and a few babysitting gigs. I was pure and innocent, on every level. I never had a desire to dive into the temptations many sixteen years olds face. Life was good. Holidays were always cheerful. Mainly devoted to high kicks and short skirts, and lots of rehearsals.
Today, well frankly sometimes I feel confused, but I have also lived. I tend to think it's my quarter life crisis that's getting to me but my gut hasn't been feeling itself lately. I'm not where I want to be career wise....don't get me wrong I love my company and the people I work with, but I'm still trying to figure certain aspects of it out. And it's not a bad thing, I'm just learning. I would never want to devote all my time and energy into something I could do, but lack the passion for. That's just not me. Today sometimes I feel like I live this life that so many come out to LA the City of Angeles, to live, but I question whether or not its satisfying to me anymore. I think I soon may need a change. My family puts this pressure on me to find a man, because most of them were married by now or close to it. Well, of course I would like to find that "special someone" who doesn't? But I am really starting to question of whether or not I can find that in LA. I have my doubts about the men in this city. But as I sit here thinking of what would make me happier....Chicago would be fun. In San Diego I could be a bigger fish in a smaller pond, and maybe get back into theater again. In San Francisco, I could see myself making a life for myself and fitting in just perfectly, but it's so expensive to live there, is it worth it?
So I've done a few things to take actions for myself. I signed up for a theater acting class today. It has been at least six years since I've been around and in the arts, but I went to a party a few weeks ago and a few martini's later, I was having an in depth convo with this young fellow who moved out to LA to do theater. You know we were bonding, we were talking about how we both had a love for theater, and he told me I should go for it. In all honestly I don't really think it was my strong point, but passion and fulfillment for excitement, yes. And I think I've had a lot more life experiences these days in which it would really help me come at it from a different angle.
The rest of my actions, well I'll save them for later. But I'm usually the type to take action if I'm not content. LA I'm giving you until May. If you don't prove me right, I'm out and on to a new adventure. Much of which I would love to include - traveling.
And maybe I shouldn't be admitting all these details on a public blog, but this is my life and these are my thoughts. At the moment.
Peace.
Ten years ago I was sixteen...well really only 10 days into my sweet sixteen. I had just gotten my drivers license, on my birthday to be exact, because I couldn't WAIT to drive my own car. My parents threw me a surprise sweet sixteen pool party and about 50 of my good friends showed up, nowadays I sometimes wonder if I even know 50 people. Definitely not 50 whom I'm close with. We had a tarot card reader, and karaoke, and a characture portrait painter and lots of pizza and crazy musical theater kids running around. That's what I remember. My life was filled and surrounded by the arts. If I wasn't in a play, I was auditioning, learning how to teach, or watching one. It was my life. That, and going on random joy rides in my Pontiac Grand Prie with my friends. :-) I was surrounded with good people and families, and mentors who I still would consider mentors, granted I never speak to them. But they made me grow.
Ten years ago, my summer time was filled with summer stock theater, and a few babysitting gigs. I was pure and innocent, on every level. I never had a desire to dive into the temptations many sixteen years olds face. Life was good. Holidays were always cheerful. Mainly devoted to high kicks and short skirts, and lots of rehearsals.
Today, well frankly sometimes I feel confused, but I have also lived. I tend to think it's my quarter life crisis that's getting to me but my gut hasn't been feeling itself lately. I'm not where I want to be career wise....don't get me wrong I love my company and the people I work with, but I'm still trying to figure certain aspects of it out. And it's not a bad thing, I'm just learning. I would never want to devote all my time and energy into something I could do, but lack the passion for. That's just not me. Today sometimes I feel like I live this life that so many come out to LA the City of Angeles, to live, but I question whether or not its satisfying to me anymore. I think I soon may need a change. My family puts this pressure on me to find a man, because most of them were married by now or close to it. Well, of course I would like to find that "special someone" who doesn't? But I am really starting to question of whether or not I can find that in LA. I have my doubts about the men in this city. But as I sit here thinking of what would make me happier....Chicago would be fun. In San Diego I could be a bigger fish in a smaller pond, and maybe get back into theater again. In San Francisco, I could see myself making a life for myself and fitting in just perfectly, but it's so expensive to live there, is it worth it?
So I've done a few things to take actions for myself. I signed up for a theater acting class today. It has been at least six years since I've been around and in the arts, but I went to a party a few weeks ago and a few martini's later, I was having an in depth convo with this young fellow who moved out to LA to do theater. You know we were bonding, we were talking about how we both had a love for theater, and he told me I should go for it. In all honestly I don't really think it was my strong point, but passion and fulfillment for excitement, yes. And I think I've had a lot more life experiences these days in which it would really help me come at it from a different angle.
The rest of my actions, well I'll save them for later. But I'm usually the type to take action if I'm not content. LA I'm giving you until May. If you don't prove me right, I'm out and on to a new adventure. Much of which I would love to include - traveling.
And maybe I shouldn't be admitting all these details on a public blog, but this is my life and these are my thoughts. At the moment.
Peace.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The Olympics.
I don't think I have ever been so intrigued in watching the Olympics as I have this year. I can always remember them coming on TV and such, but I feel like it's being covered so much more this year. Quite possibly because of all our Rockstar stellar U.S Athletes. It's not just the Olympics that I keep turning on, but every 20/20 type news station and such are doing two hour long specials on China.
There has been this whole controversy of the opening of the Olympics which I thought were beautifully done. But, some would argue that we took all this money from such a poor country (parts of it), to stage a show with over 3,000 Chinese men and women (2,500 alone) for the opening drummers... just for the Olympics. As in, there are starving children in China and other parts of the Southeast Asian world; every DAY 16,000 children around the world die of hunger related deaths (www.bread.org). Then there are the children who are being used as prostitutes in Malaysia etc, yet instead of giving money to the poor economy in countries where it is needed - ourselves and China choose to spend what is estimated to be $100 Million on both the opening and closing games this year. And in total it is estimated that $43 BILLION will be spent on the overall Olympics this year. Wait...what? Seriously? There are children dieing every day of AIDS in Africa, and people who eat one bowl of rice per day and we can spend this much on the coverage of who is going to dominate the world in their profession of sport? That is ridiculous and beyond necessary if you ask me. It makes me mad. But while I could ramble on and on about this, and how I think China and ourselves obviously do not know how to spend money properly; on a lighter note I do want to share one reason why I am so fascinated with the Olympics this year.
Two Words: Michael Phelps.
Now ladies, I know we all want a date with him, but I get first dibs!! Even if it means I'm a cougar by a couple years. Not only is his body - perfect, but he seriously seems like a such a cool, chill guy. At 23 years old he just broke the global record for winning the most golds ever - 8 this year which puts him at an overall total of 16 Olympic medals including the 2004 Olympics (6 gold, two bronze).
I have also been proud of the two young Gold (Nastia Liukin) and Silver (Shaun Johnson) young ladies who won in gymnastics. They are only 16 and 18 years old - what an accomplishment!
And if you missed the opening you can always YouTube it.
There has been this whole controversy of the opening of the Olympics which I thought were beautifully done. But, some would argue that we took all this money from such a poor country (parts of it), to stage a show with over 3,000 Chinese men and women (2,500 alone) for the opening drummers... just for the Olympics. As in, there are starving children in China and other parts of the Southeast Asian world; every DAY 16,000 children around the world die of hunger related deaths (www.bread.org). Then there are the children who are being used as prostitutes in Malaysia etc, yet instead of giving money to the poor economy in countries where it is needed - ourselves and China choose to spend what is estimated to be $100 Million on both the opening and closing games this year. And in total it is estimated that $43 BILLION will be spent on the overall Olympics this year. Wait...what? Seriously? There are children dieing every day of AIDS in Africa, and people who eat one bowl of rice per day and we can spend this much on the coverage of who is going to dominate the world in their profession of sport? That is ridiculous and beyond necessary if you ask me. It makes me mad. But while I could ramble on and on about this, and how I think China and ourselves obviously do not know how to spend money properly; on a lighter note I do want to share one reason why I am so fascinated with the Olympics this year.
Two Words: Michael Phelps.
Now ladies, I know we all want a date with him, but I get first dibs!! Even if it means I'm a cougar by a couple years. Not only is his body - perfect, but he seriously seems like a such a cool, chill guy. At 23 years old he just broke the global record for winning the most golds ever - 8 this year which puts him at an overall total of 16 Olympic medals including the 2004 Olympics (6 gold, two bronze).
I have also been proud of the two young Gold (Nastia Liukin) and Silver (Shaun Johnson) young ladies who won in gymnastics. They are only 16 and 18 years old - what an accomplishment!
And if you missed the opening you can always YouTube it.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Facebook is annoying.
I don't know why but lately I have really been annoyed by Facebook and seeing people's status's pop up on the home page going from "single" to "relationship" or "relationship" to "engaged". It feels like every time I log on to the much addicting website, that I believe really only cures long work day woes and late night boredom, someone else is now in a freakin relationship or engaged! Don't get me wrong I'm happy for all of you out there, but do you have to post it up and make the rest of us feel a little bad? My goodness, it's funny how all in one website you can learn so much about someone. Even if I were engaged or in a relationship, I wouldn't post the status simply because I think it's lame. Well actually, I might post "in a relationship" to avoid the random friend requests from guys who are attracted to my "whatever I can get" note, but those who know me know I would not ever go on a date from some random off of facebook! I also think it's lame to write comments every day on your lovers page "hey babe I love you, thanks for the great night" or whatever. Are we 15? I don't know why, but it annoys me.
And then, I think it's humorous to go out with a guy or start talking to someone, and as soon as they know your last name they look you up on facebook and try to add you as a friend. Do they really need to see all of my pictures and personal information up front? No. Plus, I would never want another online stalker for that matter. I have had one before, and it was horrible and awkward. I don't need to know or want to know if someone is looking at my shit ten times a day. If that's the case, then please stay away!
Anyways I don't know where this is going and I'm kind of embarassed to even devote a whole blog entry to facebook? But facebook, myspace, they all get old after awhile. And this morning on KIIS FM Ryan Seacrest was having people call in - grown people I'm talking about, tell stories of how myspace and facebook has RUINED their relationships. You know for example how you start to see a comment on someone's page and jump to conclusions or wonder why they add a certain person. Well honestly, I've been there, but I try not to even give a shit about that stuff. It was just sad to hear all these grown women and men talk about how their relationships have been ruined by it! Really? I am sorry for you, but here's a note for you - don't click on that page! haha.
So I just had to vent again. I would like to note that I did date in college the original founder of facebook - yeah, yeah, the one from Harvard who had the idea first and then his roommate stole the idea and basically mastered the website. Well, now that's all in the courts and he's trying to win it over, but hey now - that's my claim to fame. :-)
And then, I think it's humorous to go out with a guy or start talking to someone, and as soon as they know your last name they look you up on facebook and try to add you as a friend. Do they really need to see all of my pictures and personal information up front? No. Plus, I would never want another online stalker for that matter. I have had one before, and it was horrible and awkward. I don't need to know or want to know if someone is looking at my shit ten times a day. If that's the case, then please stay away!
Anyways I don't know where this is going and I'm kind of embarassed to even devote a whole blog entry to facebook? But facebook, myspace, they all get old after awhile. And this morning on KIIS FM Ryan Seacrest was having people call in - grown people I'm talking about, tell stories of how myspace and facebook has RUINED their relationships. You know for example how you start to see a comment on someone's page and jump to conclusions or wonder why they add a certain person. Well honestly, I've been there, but I try not to even give a shit about that stuff. It was just sad to hear all these grown women and men talk about how their relationships have been ruined by it! Really? I am sorry for you, but here's a note for you - don't click on that page! haha.
So I just had to vent again. I would like to note that I did date in college the original founder of facebook - yeah, yeah, the one from Harvard who had the idea first and then his roommate stole the idea and basically mastered the website. Well, now that's all in the courts and he's trying to win it over, but hey now - that's my claim to fame. :-)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
90210 is back?
Okay, lately I have seen so many billboards, posters covering entire buildings, and TV promos galore on TV for the CW's new show (ohh wait, it's not new just a "comeback") of 90210. Does anyone else out there agree that this show is going to be a HUGE network mistake, and it is only going to flop on the TV airwaves? 90210, was one of the best shows of the early 90's and you CANNOT even try to remotely try to re-do the show 12 years later, with 22 year old kids, who haven't had an acting job in their life prior to this one. I know Tori Spelling was suppose to be a part of the show, but personally I think that's a huge mistake on her part to even be a part of it. Hopefully she is only considering it to honor her Dad and his once hit show.
Anyways, I've just been really annoyed with all the hype leading up to it, and think it's quite humorous that the show is going to be re-done. It's like taking Save By the Bell or My So Called Life or something and trying to re-do it, you just don't. It was in the past... it was a great show, and now let's leave it up to reality TV and the Hills to get sucked into watching the lives of rich 22 year olds in Hollywood.
90210 is a zipcode now, and that's all it should be. If you want to experience it, then come to LA and take a walk down Rodeo.
Anyways, I've just been really annoyed with all the hype leading up to it, and think it's quite humorous that the show is going to be re-done. It's like taking Save By the Bell or My So Called Life or something and trying to re-do it, you just don't. It was in the past... it was a great show, and now let's leave it up to reality TV and the Hills to get sucked into watching the lives of rich 22 year olds in Hollywood.
90210 is a zipcode now, and that's all it should be. If you want to experience it, then come to LA and take a walk down Rodeo.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
When you finally get it.
A couple days ago I turned 26. I know it's still considered "young" but for some reason I feel a little more mature, a little more with the program, a little wiser, a little more content with my self, a little more sure of what I want in a man, in friends, in career, in life...a little all of the above. A friend had sent me a forwarded email and although I rarely read forwards, this one caught my eye. I think it explains a lot of where I am in my life and where I am going, and the clean slate I just started (or feel I started) at turning a year older. I know it's long and somewhat cliche, possibly even like a textbook excerpt from self love and psychology101, but hopefully it will click for you like it did for me! Enjoy!
"There comes a time in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out- ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening!
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:
- how you should look and how much you should weigh
- what you should wear and where you should shop
- where you should live or what type of car your should drive
- who you should marry and why you should stay
- the importance of having children or what you owe your family
You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK… they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10” Or a perfect human being for that matter. So you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that “it is truly in giving that we receive and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” & “contributing” rather than “obtaining” & “accumulating.”
And you are thankful for the things you have; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.
And you give thanks for the simple things you’ve been blessed with; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.
And then you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.
Then you learn about love and relationships, how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not everyone will always come through and interestingly enough, it’s not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy and resentment.
You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to.
So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your” standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with yourself” and “on yourself.” Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it comes to pass that through understanding your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So, you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead. You set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.
You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what you think you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment.
And you stop looking for guarantees because you’ve learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you’ll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY… the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. Then a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.
Remember this: “You are Extraordinary, Exceptional, Most Beautiful and Powerful Beyond Belief!”
"There comes a time in your life when you finally get it… When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out- ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening!
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the “reality of today” rather than holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:
- how you should look and how much you should weigh
- what you should wear and where you should shop
- where you should live or what type of car your should drive
- who you should marry and why you should stay
- the importance of having children or what you owe your family
You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK… they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a “perfect 10” Or a perfect human being for that matter. So you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that “it is truly in giving that we receive and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” & “contributing” rather than “obtaining” & “accumulating.”
And you are thankful for the things you have; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.
And you give thanks for the simple things you’ve been blessed with; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.
And then you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you’ve learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.
Then you learn about love and relationships, how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not everyone will always come through and interestingly enough, it’s not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren’t done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy and resentment.
You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to.
So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it’s wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet “your” standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that “alone” does not mean “lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending time “with yourself” and “on yourself.” Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it comes to pass that through understanding your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So, you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead. You set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.
You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what you think you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment.
And you stop looking for guarantees because you’ve learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you’ll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY… the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. Then a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.
Remember this: “You are Extraordinary, Exceptional, Most Beautiful and Powerful Beyond Belief!”
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